Excellent comments. Only on two minor points if I may disagree:He decided to leave his kingdom and look for a way to achieve immortality. ==> and started looking for…==> we can simply say, " he decided to leave his kingdom in search of a way to achieve immortality" or " he decided to leave his kingdom for a way to achieve immortality".
His fellows helped him prepare for his voyage ==> to prepare ==> I don't think this correction is necessary. "Help sb do something" and "help somebody to do sth" are both correct.
-goingconern(GoingConcern);
2012-12-17{467}(#7958723@0)
Agree with you on the second point. As far as the first one goes, I think Nothanks's expression also makes sense. Your correction subtly altered the original meaning and did not make it any simpler.
-winterstorm(打酱油的);
2012-12-17(#7958797@0)
Should be: on top of which THERE was a stone. ...if "on" is used, then "there" cannot be omitted here. If you meant to say the entire top of the mountain was a stone, then the clause should be structured as : the top of which was a stone....
-winterstorm(打酱油的);
2012-12-16(#7956708@0)
The sentence can be an inverted sentence.
-nothanks(ciel);
2012-12-16(#7956777@0)
I think author means the first case. Putting "there" does make it formal.
-nothanks(ciel);
2012-12-16(#7956814@0)
Thanks for your response.
-winterstorm(打酱油的);
2012-12-16(#7956988@0)
"There was also a big sign in front of the cave..." 建议用 "out front of" as mentioned by Soys Brother's post #7956122
-redjunk(rolia);
2012-12-16(#7957168@0)