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枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 心碎－－１５年的感情毁于一旦
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
{1170}
(#1473060@0)
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做为女人，可以为孩子牺牲一切，而你的太太却如此坚决，有外遇的可能很大。最可怜的是孩子。
-ppmm-1(ppmm-1);
2003-11-19
(#1473083@0)
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孩子会适应的. 关键是你. 强扭的瓜不甜. ＭＯＶＥ ＯＮ．
-xz730000(笑一笑，十年少);
2003-11-19
(#1473197@0)
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你们之间的感情与孩子无关，爱则聚，不爱则分。儿子不应该是分手的理由，也不应该是维系婚姻的藉口。
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
(#1473089@0)
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嗯
-win(秋天的菠菜);
2003-11-19
(#1473091@0)
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我不想把孩子作为籍口。我们都极爱孩子，儿子两岁不到就很调皮，被爸爸骂就找妈妈，被妈妈说就找爸爸，就是不认错。现在我们教育他时站在一边，他讨不到好，只好改错。要是分手了就不可能这样了，孩子一定会被宠坏的。还有，继父能对他如何？他被其他小孩欺负了怎么办？
离婚对孩子来说一定是巨大的打击，可能彻底改变他的一生，可他是无辜的。
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
{212}
(#1473102@0)
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如果你把这些道理都给你的太太解释了，而她还是坚持自己的选择，那是不是就说明她的想法是无法改变的？世界上从来就不是每件事情都合理，对每个人都公平，有的时候我们真的别无选择。
-dalianmao(dalianmao);
2003-11-19
(#1473115@0)
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不幸的婚姻难道不是对孩子更大的打击吗？
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
(#1473254@0)
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同意, 举双手双脚表示赞同楼上的观点.
-mashimaro(流氓兔;我就是贪吃);
2003-11-20
(#1475132@0)
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你太太應該不是突然提出離婚的，她的理由有沒有道理？女人，很多喜歡追求榮華富貴，喜歡把自己的男人和別人比較．這是毛病，也是天性．看看你能不能解決這個問題．可以先分開一段時間試試．孩子可憐，但不能阻礙大人的幸福．
-rollor(Rollor);
2003-11-19
(#1473129@0)
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这样的情况可不可以让女方出钱供养男方？凭什么离了婚都是男的白养女的？
-vega_lee(天津の包子.NET);
2003-11-19
(#1473142@0)
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离题了。
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473177@0)
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不离题，给她经济上的威慑，不能轻言离婚。不能光男的有经济责任，女的也得有吧。要不她们太随便了，女的想离就离还有补助。
-vega_lee(天津の包子.NET);
2003-11-19
(#1473829@0)
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她是突然提出离婚；她的理由有道理，但不至于严重到非离婚不可的地步。这两点基本说明有外力的介入。分开一段时间，恐怕再也没有回头的机会。她不是个贪图荣华富贵的女人，当年我一无所有，她都跟着我，吃了不少苦。我问过她，我们彼此还有感情，我不知道她为何如此坚决，外力这么强大？
幸福？恐怕是一时的激情而已。１５年后的今天也许我们激情不再，但这份珍贵的亲情才是真正的幸福。
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
{228}
(#1473173@0)
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这份珍贵的亲情may not be as precious to her anymore. Look forward. Time will help. Give your wife a chance of a new better life,you have already realized that you're not helping. she makes more than you do for one fact.
-ztech(Agent Yasuyi-安特工);
2003-11-19
{92}
(#1473179@0)
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關于榮華富貴，年輕時和現在很可能不一樣．如果你確定是外力介入，就離了算了．跟孩子解釋一下，未必會造成重大傷害．
-rollor(Rollor);
2003-11-19
{560}
(#1473277@0)
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她是否有外遇、外遇是否会带给她幸福，完全是她自己的事。而且，如果爱情完全转成了亲情，我认为她完全有理由选择另一段爱情。你所能做的，就是祝福她，如果还爱她，向她表示你的爱，然后等她回头。
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
(#1473297@0)
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一派胡言.
-anewgoodman(aNewGoodMan);
2003-11-19
(#1474602@0)
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Appreciate what the God and your wonderful wife have offered you for the past 15 years. Pray for your wife and wish her all the best.Period. :)
-ztech(Agent Yasuyi-安特工);
2003-11-19
{10}
(#1473164@0)
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I will if she is gone. But what can I do for my son? I love him so much.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473181@0)
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How old is he?
-ztech(Agent Yasuyi-安特工);
2003-11-19
(#1473185@0)
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almost 2 years old.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473188@0)
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I guess there're kids grown up w/ single parent. Not much one can do, other than work harder.
-ztech(Agent Yasuyi-安特工);
2003-11-19
(#1473199@0)
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this's the best reply i have read so far. really nice!
-banker(见面熟);
2003-11-19
(#1473600@0)
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对你的遭遇表示同情，出个主意，不一定行，试试吧找一个你们双方都极相知，相识的人(亲戚，朋友，同学，同事不限)，先跟他(她)说说你的这些想法，再让他(她)去跟你太太谈谈，劝一劝，讲讲利弊，摸摸底，探探真正的原因(是否移情别恋)，看看是否还有回心转意的可能。如果真无回旋的余地，劝你不如尽早忍痛割爱，否则可能对孩子影响更不好。
送君一句话: 大丈夫能屈能伸。再说，将来也许她还觉得你好，和你复婚那。
-no_name(I ·þÁ&);
2003-11-19
{340}
(#1473195@0)
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这个办法好
-benii(搬运工);
2003-11-19
(#1473351@0)
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agree, up
-buma(buma);
2003-11-19
(#1473923@0)
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Move on, man. Things happen. Who knows what will happen next. Maybe she will be back to you, maybe you will find your true love who won't pick on you.
-rudy2000(动一动);
2003-11-19
(#1473247@0)
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如果我是你我会跟她说明：为了孩子，请你重新考虑，如果孩子也留不住你，那请你离开。你这么爱孩子，一定不要把孩子给了她，她这么狠心，以后对孩子也没什么好处。你就带着孩子过吧，没什么大不了的。
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
{176}
(#1473263@0)
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"你这么爱孩子，一定不要把孩子给了她"?LOL.
-ztech(Agent Yasuyi-安特工);
2003-11-19
{4}
(#1473268@0)
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Any problem? I think he should keep the baby.
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
(#1473278@0)
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It's up to the beloved one.
-ztech(Agent Yasuyi-安特工);
2003-11-19
(#1473285@0)
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but i'm afraid his wife cannot take care of the baby well anymore
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
(#1473304@0)
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Have you ever heard one word from his wife?
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
(#1473311@0)
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You are right, my suggestion is only based on his words. With all that I have known, I will suggest he let her go but keep the baby. If his wife has other stories, maybe I'll think it again.
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
(#1473338@0)
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我却不认为孩子应该跟着这样的爸爸。So far as I know from his posts, I don't think he is a good father and a good husband. (No offense. Just my personal feelings.)
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
(#1473306@0)
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Give your reasons. He is not aggressive but enjoying his life. He loves his son and his family. I don't see any wrong with him.apparently, his wife is getting some new ideas, she has no interest in giving the little one a happy family.
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
{108}
(#1473327@0)
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a happy family? Do you call a family which the wife asking a divorce is a happy family? Moreover, I don't think it's all his wife's fault.Everybody has his/her own life and freedom no matter s/he is married or not.
It seems the husband cares too much about others' business .
Is he enjoying his life? Probably. But I think the way he enjoying his life blocked the way his wife or his kid to enjoy life.
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
{270}
(#1473367@0)
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Come on, you know a lot of freedom, do you know anything of liability?The poor man is asking suggestion of giving his baby a stable life, you think he is blocking the baby's way to seek happiness???????? He did not block his wife's way either, he is just trying to save the marriage, and the family. Do you know the couple in a marriage have the liability to keep the family?
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
{311}
(#1473395@0)
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I am a good father, but may not be a good husband. My wife is an excellent mother and also a very good wife. I am still loving her very much.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
{534}
(#1473491@0)
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.my friend was in a similar situation. now they are still wife and husband.
-henhen(哼哼, 找工ing ^_^);
2003-11-19
{77}
(#1473500@0)
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Thank you. Encourage and suggestions are what I need most right now.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473514@0)
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.go ahead. Talk to her.
-henhen(哼哼, 找工ing ^_^);
2003-11-19
{23}
(#1473550@0)
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"We should have solved problems if she spoke out." You're still thinking it's your wife's mistake. Forget all I said if you don't like. Wish you good luck and all the best to your wife.
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
(#1473504@0)
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Thank you, and please don't stop. You are telling me what my wife is thinking now. But I still believe that a wife and a husband should communicate with each other before things are getting worse.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473540@0)
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my thoughts
-mssg(mssg);
2003-11-19
{625}
(#1473521@0)
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Thank you. Most people are very nice here, and they don't joke in this serious topic. They are helping me. Thank you all.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473590@0)
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谢谢你。原来我也想和她争孩子，但为孩子设身处地想一想，一个还不到两岁的孩子更需要妈妈；她这次对我是很狠心，但她对孩子非常好，她也离不开孩子，我也不想在这件事上伤害她。说实在的，在加拿大，我也争不过她。
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
{34}
(#1473436@0)
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很同情你，孩子是更需要妈妈一些。我之所以劝你把孩子留下是因为如果她真的有第三者，即使她对孩子再好，孩子也难保不受委屈。哎，说来说去还是孩子可怜。大人其实没什么的，时间一长也就算了，可孩子还这么小。我的一个中学女同学，挺文静的人，嫁人生女，一切都那么平静幸福的样子，没想到女儿四岁的时候她居然跟一个男人私奔了。之后她就跟我们都断了联系。我常常想，她会想孩子吗？她会内疚吗？激情终归是要过去的，和谁过，不还都是柴米油盐的事儿吗？不都大同小异吗？等一切都平静下来，大人可以回味，可以后悔。孩子却终归是一辈子都失去了母爱，或者父爱。
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
{406}
(#1473461@0)
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It's your time to listen this song <If you love somebody set them free> by Sting.
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
(#1473402@0)
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估计你太太现在觉得你"无趣"了, 从有趣变无趣是一个渐进的过程, 但从无趣变回有趣, 这种逆转是很难的, 劝你做最坏的打算, 女人一但走到这一步, 不太好回头, 即使将来回了头, 可能你又觉得"无趣"了.
-noproblem(大可以);
2003-11-19
(#1473442@0)
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女人心一旦变了，就好比破了的镜子不会再还原。你唯一的筹码就是孩子，她要是连孩子都不要，我看你要不要她也没意义了，大家觉得呢？
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473528@0)
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我太太是个不可多得的好女人，我只后悔没有好好珍惜，她要孩子，孩子是她的命根子。我不想撕破脸争孩子，我只想挽回她的心，也挽救我儿子的快乐和幸福。
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473566@0)
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噢，那我想应该有外力促使她坚决离婚，不然，单身，自己带个孩子，这决心不容易下啊。。。不然你肯定伤她伤狠了。
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473585@0)
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如果各种劝说都不起作用的话, 那就先分居吧, 三十几岁的女人还有个孩子, 做出这样的决定也不容易, 其中应该还有很多故事, 不管怎么说, 给大家一段冷静的时间然后再来决定吧.孩子, 如果母亲要的话, 还是给她吧, 因为将来你总要再婚的, 孩子还是跟着自己的亲妈好点.
-firefox(火狐之雪花火锅非洲菊);
2003-11-19
{83}
(#1473559@0)
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如果没有外遇的话，分居是个选择，我还有机会去挽回。但如果有外遇的话，分居就是散了。
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473574@0)
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不见得, 世界上的事情很难讲的, 如果你很爱她的话, 给自己一点信心. :))
-firefox(火狐之雪花火锅非洲菊);
2003-11-19
(#1473591@0)
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1）我估计有外遇是肯定的。2）分居不见得就散。分居后，你与她之间的矛盾骤然消解，而她与情人之间的各种原来隐藏的矛盾突然凸显，一段时间后，她可能觉得还是你好，想回来，而那时你可能觉得情已尽了。离婚就成了必然之路。
-ddmzd(满意得直哼哼);
2003-11-23
(#1481275@0)
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I would do If I would love her. 1. If you are not sure if she has a boyfriend, you cannot suggest anything. It will give you many problems of dealing with it.
-allrichest(ifilucky);
2003-11-19
{962}
(#1473567@0)
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Thank you. I am trying.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
(#1473582@0)
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如果我可以wild guess一下，大部分中国男人的爱可能在心里，但是女人是感性动物，需要感觉到被爱，被关注。权当这是重新恋爱。全心去追求你的所爱-你现在的妻子
-dropoutinmiami(饺子-持证潜水);
2003-11-19
(#1473650@0)
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I am the wife
-wifeishere(n/a);
2003-11-19
{1989}
(#1473595@0)
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Good Luck ! best wishes!
-banker(见面熟);
2003-11-19
(#1473607@0)
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俺明白了。。。你没鼓励过或者锻炼过他吗？其实有时候女的越往前冲，男的惰性越强，索性甩手不管了，天也不回塌下来的，试过没？男人会本能的出来面对的，给他机会，我不信他真不行。不过我依然理解你，非离婚不可？30岁面对将来的大风大浪真的一点顾虑没有？哪个值得？
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473620@0)
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我理解, 其实一句话, 就是现在你终于知道了你所想要的, 可能也真的找到了你所想要的(SORRY), 可是, 现在你有的真的不是你想要的吗, 将来要拥有的又真的是你想要的吗? 这是一个很重大很重大的决定, 三思再三思啊.
-firefox(火狐之雪花火锅非洲菊);
2003-11-19
(#1473621@0)
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never try, never know :PP
-ningxin0809(雁影行洲);
2003-11-19
(#1473634@0)
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thanks for your understanding
-wifeishere(n/a);
2003-11-19
{672}
(#1473647@0)
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先别着急着定了性, 给他一点时间让他证明给你看嘛, 男人有的时候很粗心, 自己脆弱的时候就告诉他, 我想他不会不借个肩膀给你用用吧. 旧的还是比新的好啊, 毕竟已经磨合了15年啊. :)
-firefox(火狐之雪花火锅非洲菊);
2003-11-19
(#1473670@0)
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Can't agree more.
-henhen(哼哼, 找工ing ^_^);
2003-11-19
(#1473693@0)
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You know what? I can feel you must be very sad and feel so tired.Don't know how to say. Best wishes!
-flyaway(F.);
2003-11-19
(#1473672@0)
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yes I am. and very very much..
-wifeishere(n/a);
2003-11-19
(#1473679@0)
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Please calm down and do not make the rush decision right away. As a wife/mother, I can feel you are very exhausted, physically and mentally.Stressful work, endless household chores and child care may have put you in the depression and depression may cause us to lose energy, lose patience. I experienced the similar fatigue when my daughter is young, now my daughter is almost four and I feel much better. Please take some time for youself to relax, do something you really enjoy. Make yourself happy and self-contented, then you will see the sunshine rather than the darkness in your life.
-clear(clear);
2003-11-19
{450}
(#1473727@0)
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Thanks for sharing.One day I felt so bad when I saw the old pictures. Back ten, tweleve years ago, I was such a sunshine girl when I graduated. Now I just feel myself getting heverier and heverier.
-wifeishere(n/a);
2003-11-19
{178}
(#1473810@0)
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I miss those times too, but we should get the best out of every age group, for ourselves and our family too.If you focus on more positive side of our life, the valuable kid, the financially stable life compare with some immigrants, you will feel very blessed.
-clear(clear);
2003-11-19
{151}
(#1473901@0)
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Reverse your sight and thinking differently, you may have different solution, blessing your family.
-noproblem(大可以);
2003-11-19
(#1473624@0)
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based on your description, almost half of the couples should be seperated. Good luck to you.
-ningxin0809(雁影行洲);
2003-11-19
(#1473627@0)
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Good point!
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
(#1473663@0)
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Half of all the couples do separate eventually.
-anewgoodman(aNewGoodMan);
2003-11-19
(#1474621@0)
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我喜欢你这样的态度和说话的方式.
-timhudson(As);
2003-11-19
(#1473631@0)
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it is not an easy decision for both party and maybe that is nobody’s fault. If, just if, you could see your happiness is based on the going alone but not just give your husband a color see see.
-lubx(黑白世界);
2003-11-19
(#1473632@0)
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有了外遇就明说吧，还找出一大堆理由。没有比较就没有鉴别，看上了别人也不是你的错，是你的丈夫不怎么努力。爱和关怀不只是接受，也是付出。
-pyramid(树木);
2003-11-19
(#1473640@0)
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dd, too naive r.
-mssg(mssg);
2003-11-19
(#1473655@0)
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I think you are the one who is naive, honestly. :)
-pyramid(树木);
2003-11-19
(#1473714@0)
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泥这人咋这样说泥？
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473680@0)
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这叫透过现象看本质，要是没有外遇，算我没说。:P
-pyramid(树木);
2003-11-19
(#1473688@0)
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谁说不是泥？但是就这么分手，将来99%会后悔的，1%琢磨是不是该后悔，对不划算牙
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473692@0)
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我其实是支持分手的，只不过不喜欢遮遮掩掩，结婚自愿，离婚自由嘛！:)
-pyramid(树木);
2003-11-19
(#1473709@0)
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宁拆十座庙，不毁一门亲，你说泥咋就不知道泥?
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473719@0)
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时间是检验真理的唯一标准，可惜这个世界上没有卖后悔药的。
-pyramid(树木);
2003-11-19
(#1473731@0)
-
he's still too young. :P
-lazycat(三脚猫);
2003-11-19
(#1473735@0)
-
如果人有预见性，那多好呀！早知现在要离，当初何必结呢？如果早知将来会后悔，现在又何必离呢？看来，只有珍惜现有的幸福，才是上上策。当幸福的感觉已逝，不好挽回啊。
-pyramid(树木);
2003-11-19
(#1473756@0)
-
an old saying "planning can't catch up with changing"
-lazycat(三脚猫);
2003-11-19
(#1473779@0)
-
我一直对你印象不错，可是你这次的帖子实在让人讨厌——凭哪一点你可以这样随便讲话？
-cube(又见炊烟);
2003-11-19
(#1474223@0)
-
这是他的一贯风格。小心，待会他急了连你都咬一口。
-johnnyhatesjazz(Rock and Roll);
2003-11-20
(#1475520@0)
-
你说话怎么这么武断呢，这种事情也要用愤青的态度？
-jade(冬眠的水草);
2003-11-20
(#1475515@0)
-
很有同感，关于energy level和comfort zone；我感到你累了。如果我可以提个建议的话，我建议，有很多workshop，设在风景优美的地方，让couple放松，有counselor，也有group support，试试这个。我感觉会很有帮助。有时我们get stuck in one reality，凭借自身的力量很难改变；外界环境的变化会改变这样的reality，在轻松的环境里把问题分解了。其实很多就是心境。
-dropoutinmiami(饺子-持证潜水);
2003-11-19
{139}
(#1473644@0)
-
再坚强的女人也需要关爱, 需要丈夫坚实温暖的臂膀. 不管怎么说, 三思而后行, 祝福你们.
-rom(红蚂蚁);
2003-11-19
(#1473664@0)
-
Bless you. Just think it over.Normally couples are not 50-50 contributors. There are lots of unaccountable stuff. Think it over what you have in the family, not only how much you paid or suffered.
But, if your love is gone, you go.
-henhen(哼哼, 找工ing ^_^);
2003-11-19
{208}
(#1473668@0)
-
Will everything be better if you divorce? How do you know you will not be tirer afterwards? If you want a divorce just because this, please think about it.If you have no other reason, then it is enough, your husband have learned a big lesson from these days. If you have other reasons, talk it with your husband, get understand. I think it's not good to hide other reasons, if there's any.
-rolia(rolia);
2003-11-19
{238}
(#1473681@0)
-
i'm a third partyi appreciate the points made by both of you.
I'm with mssg however in that change is the only sure thing in this world. That also proves as husbands and wives we all should appreciate these changes and always prepare to embrace and accept them when time's calling for it. In this sense i'm behind you as long as you have, unfortunately, made your case clearly to him.
It's never been an easy decision.
-patpat(胡侃 - 乱侃);
2003-11-19
{410}
(#1473711@0)
-
我能理解你的感受, 因为我跟你有类似的经历.
-smilingears(微笑的耳朵);
2003-11-19
{1158}
(#1473750@0)
-
I agree I and him may have different targets.In fact, as he said, he is more relax and wants to enjoy life. He wants good things (big house, nice car..) more than I do. It is not easy for us to be here and together after all these years.
really.
-wifeishere(n/a);
2003-11-19
{202}
(#1473892@0)
-
那么能问一下: what's your ideal family in your mind? and what's your target?
Enjoying life and more relax, big house and nice car are not bad target. Very practical i think.
-smilingears(微笑的耳朵);
2003-11-19
(#1473964@0)
-
Big Horse and nice car will never bring you real relief and happiness. It's from the person who you share your life with. you may loss what you have right now if you slow down in your career,but think about over. does family mean more to you? West people tend to be honest to themselves but this doesn't mean they don't take their family into consideration. Think it over and once you make a final decision, be prepared never turn around back.
-pliss(夏季周末如金);
2003-11-19
{254}
(#1474670@0)
-
你暗示你先生沒有負起他應負的責任，而你先生覺得自己已經做的夠多得了．清官難斷家務事．如果你沒有外逾，分開住一段時間可能有利于改善你們的關係．
-rollor(Rollor);
2003-11-19
(#1473772@0)
-
你要什么要告诉他, 你不告诉他他就永远不知道, 男人就是这么笨. 靠四目凝视是不行的. 这是多少女性用血和泪学来的真理. 你应该在第7年的时候就知道这个道理了. 那个心碎了的丈夫: 我的心都碎了.可是做男人不能满足于"我没有错啊". 得零分是不行的! 一定要是正数才行! 你太太在第7年的时候就应该让你明白知道这个道理了, 你居然又混了8年.
不管有外语无外语, 答应她可以离婚, 但要求必须先分居一年后离. 然后尽最大努力好好表现, 跟那个外语 or whatever on her mind 竞争. 然后听天由命.
-uvw(没完);
2003-11-19
{279}
(#1474219@0)
-
don't know who you are, butI like your message. I just want to ask, if the other part ignore what you are asking, what you should do?
I did express my feeling in the past 15 years, most of the time, no response..
very sad, but very true..
you want to know what I had asked him? Maybe he is the better people to tell you..
believe me, I did not ask too much... other wise, he won't be here today and tell every one all this...
-wifeishere(n/a);
2003-11-19
{405}
(#1474733@0)
-
I feel for you.Try marriage counselling. Give him one last chance. Maybe what he needed was just this final push, which you should have given him long time ago.
-uvw(没完);
2003-11-20
{145}
(#1476109@0)
-
过几年你有发现还是不合适，还有你想得到的，就着样换啊换啊，一直到老，没人再换了，怎么办？
-ttl(有羊肉没馍了);
2003-11-19
(#1474356@0)
-
古训呀古训,真是有道理女子无才便是德.
------- ".....我KAO, 谁扔的砖头"
-flyingpig(小飞猪);
2003-11-19
{55}
(#1474401@0)
-
我太了解你的感受了，因为我的情况和你非常相似，只是婚龄没有你长，也没有小孩。
-iknow(iknow);
2003-11-20
{898}
(#1475126@0)
-
奇怪啊~他这么的一无是处当初你为何嫁给他呢？？？？？
-elvishcat(绿茶㊣目光炯炯);
2003-11-20
(#1475127@0)
-
爱情是盲目的嘛. 很多人谈恋爱的时候并不是用理性去考虑问题. 结婚时也不会考虑将来会怎么样.
-smilingears(微笑的耳朵);
2003-11-20
(#1475681@0)
-
您老的意思是, 只会用下半身思考罗?
-xianyu(咸鱼,翻了73次身);
2003-11-20
(#1475698@0)
-
您一定不是女人.:)
-smilingears(微笑的耳朵);
2003-11-20
(#1475729@0)
-
所以先用上半身思考
-xianyu(咸鱼,翻了73次身);
2003-11-20
(#1475755@0)
-
我和他恋爱了2年，开始交往时觉得他还很不错，我们也比较相投，
-iknow(iknow);
2003-11-20
{825}
(#1476074@0)
-
坦白的说您犯下了一个严重的错误：
-elvishcat(绿茶㊣目光炯炯);
2003-11-20
{1308}
(#1476461@0)
-
奇怪, 天下nice的男人多了, 你是嫁老公还是找个同住的partner? 困惑加不解.
-mashimaro(流氓兔;我就是贪吃);
2003-11-20
(#1475134@0)
-
I don't know what to say to your case, but it is really a common situation many couple have met. Three choices:1. change yourself, just accept it.
2. trying to be a good teacher, train him.
3. divorce.
I would like to suggest you trying 2 firstly, but I really doubt whether it works or not, as it is not easy to train a adult.
-earthcitizen(地球公民);
2003-11-20
{221}
(#1475156@0)
-
找丈夫又不是找儿子，他恐怕有恋母情结，未来挺替你那个什么的
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-20
(#1475379@0)
-
I have to say you are a smart woman after I review your post again, I don't want to say too much about your marriage, you can refer to #1475156 for my view if you want to know.Here I would just like to suggest you finding some ways to release the pressure you've encountered sometimes, the point is you might need to change your ways in handling pressure. Good Luck.
-earthcitizen(地球公民);
2003-11-20
{191}
(#1475161@0)
-
You will be wrong and regret later, if you really seperate with him...The most important thing in the marriage is whether he loves you yes or not.."Old is always good. ", some times I think so, especailly in Canada.
If you tried to seperate, you would know, but it would be so late.
-shuguo(blue ice);
2003-11-20
{140}
(#1475467@0)
-
I had the same experience as you do.I separated 7 months ago because of the exactly same feelings and same reasons. During the 7 months, I was trying to live a life of my own with my little did. I feel much happier and now I've got a new boyfriend and am thinking to move on a little bid. It is a good move, I understand you 100%. You will feel much happier.
-whowillloveme(ChineseDoll);
2003-11-20
{323}
(#1475558@0)
-
a 2-day new BF. HAHA, I will say funny instead of happier. New house,new car, 8K+.Is that you ? Keep an eye on your BF.
-freeport(别再赔了，别再赔了);
2003-11-20
(#1476694@0)
-
You are wrong. I had him when I wrote the question. I just wanted to hear some oppinions from others.
-whowillloveme(ChineseDoll);
2003-11-26
(#1485764@0)
-
If there's still love and respect between you two, you should try your best to stay together. Otherwise, if the only thing left is hatred and disdain, it's time for a divorce.B.T.W, do you really think you could have a better life without him? Or you think you could find a better man? You know, people somehow always fall in love with the same type of people.
No marriage is perfect.
-woodhead(Happy wood-head);
2003-11-23
{215}
(#1481261@0)
-
the things are not going so far. If You really love her, you have to do like this.
-allrichest(ifilucky);
2003-11-19
{954}
(#1473666@0)
-
妻子出来说话了, 丈夫又去哪里了?
-rom(红蚂蚁);
2003-11-19
(#1473686@0)
-
其实我觉得这样交流下真的挺好。丈夫一直都很克制，顾全大局，念着妻子得好；而妻子也是模范妻子/母亲，难得的一对夫妇。希望他们能work it out，如果不能，相信他们仍然会是朋友，仍然会一如既往地爱他们的孩子。
-dropoutinmiami(饺子-持证潜水);
2003-11-19
(#1473699@0)
-
you are very nice. :-)
-henhen(哼哼, 找工ing ^_^);
2003-11-19
(#1473705@0)
-
说实话，老觉得你肚子里馅儿太少，留下的空间都给气儿占了。。。难以控制难以控制哪！
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473728@0)
-
:)))
-wise(不通啊不通);
2003-11-19
(#1473732@0)
-
哦，是吗？：）
-dropoutinmiami(饺子-持证潜水);
2003-11-19
(#1473765@0)
-
15年的感情出现这种局面, 当事人不知翻来覆去想了多久了. 祝福他们吧.
-rom(红蚂蚁);
2003-11-19
(#1473733@0)
-
网上大家有话直说，我的看法：1，爱依然不够深 2，女方个性太强，这在单身女性中很多，而且这对婚姻的杀伤力极大 3，相信是3输结果
-wise(不通啊不通);
2003-11-19
(#1473698@0)
-
dd, too naive r.
-mssg(mssg);
2003-11-19
(#1473702@0)
-
Appreciate all the helps
-wifeishere(n/a);
2003-11-19
{535}
(#1473706@0)
-
best wishes to you! but divorce is a very serious decision. Think it carefully! It may hurt you more.
-lazycat(三脚猫);
2003-11-19
(#1473729@0)
-
good luck! 不过离婚是我认为人生一大恶事，能免则免吧。
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473734@0)
-
离婚不是什么大不了的事. 生活在乏味的婚姻里才事大.
-rom(红蚂蚁);
2003-11-19
(#1473743@0)
-
你牛！今天离了没？
-goldsky(泥锅泥碗泥滚蛋);
2003-11-19
(#1473783@0)
-
充分必要条件尚不满足, 没离 :-P
-rom(红蚂蚁);
2003-11-19
(#1473824@0)
-
I can 100% understand your feeling because myself is a hardworking woman too. Life is really not easy for women like us. But I suggest you seperate a while and cool down a little bit before divorce.If in this period you really feel better without him, maybe divorce is a good choice. Maybe you will find he can still give you "support" and that's still important to you, then you may change your opinion.
-wander2001(猫行天下);
2003-11-19
{209}
(#1473769@0)
-
找到幸福的人，就会往前看。还没有找到的呢，就容易怀念过去。忘记某个人最好的办法，就是找别人代替。:P
-pyramid(树木);
2003-11-19
(#1473823@0)
-
Wife is an excellent and mature woman. I agree divorce. Sometimes, separation will be more helpful for the exhausted life. A better solution for their family. Maybe they will remarry if they are matched couple.
-summerlover(loveautumn);
2003-11-19
(#1473847@0)
-
我是观察过很多夫妇，离了再复婚的，很少。说明了什么问题？
-dropoutinmiami(饺子-持证潜水);
2003-11-19
(#1473857@0)
-
Trust is broken, i think. and it's hard to rebuild trust between couples since divorce. 即使被提出离婚的人说自己能还有足够的信心重建trust, 先提出离婚的人也未必会有.
总之, 离婚对双方都是伤害.
-smilingears(微笑的耳朵);
2003-11-19
(#1473989@0)
-
我的感觉是有很多原因和障碍使得我们停留在婚姻里，一旦婚姻这个联系没有了，很多时候我们是不会再选择以前的人的。如果真的让爱来维系婚姻，就问一下，我离了婚还会再嫁给他吗？
-dropoutinmiami(饺子-持证潜水);
2003-11-19
(#1474063@0)
-
好象没抓您的point. 婚姻并不是单单只有爱那么简单, 还有责任,义务等等. 爱情能变成亲情和友情那是最完美的. 我能理解在一起十年以内的离婚, 但还不能理解在一起十年以上的离婚. 也许有我现在还看不到的原因吧.
-smilingears(微笑的耳朵);
2003-11-19
(#1474113@0)
-
我们邻居50岁离的，她说吵烦了，不想再搭上最后的黄金岁月！
-yihan(逸涵);
2003-11-19
(#1474121@0)
-
It's not easy to build up and maintain a family. But thinking of that,it's also meaningless to say that one contributes /sacrifices more than the other in a family . As long as love still exists, you two can try to find a way to make things out.
Life is tough to everyone, and from your tone, I could tell that you might still have feelings to him. Besides, your partner still loves you so much... Please give him a chance, at least he is not the hopeless person who even has no gut to tell that he wanna improve himself so as to keep you home.
Good luck.
-xinlin(不得不中断学习一年的);
2003-11-19
{494}
(#1473855@0)
-
祝你好运气。我有时想：人想从婚姻中得到些什么，又失去了些什么。有时你选择一个男人可以依托，但是往往你失去了自己做出选择，发展自己的可能性。
你选择一个男人在事业上帮助你，可能又会因为我们的传统的想法，感觉有些不平衡；或者有时觉得疲倦。
-lilyba(sunshine困惑不懂装懂);
2003-11-19
{172}
(#1473859@0)
-
Honey, I still love you very much. I only beg for a chance, a chance for both of us, a chance for our lovely little oneNo matter what happened to you, I will forget it and never mention it later in my life. I am the one who love you most in the world, please bring your heart home.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-19
{162}
(#1474000@0)
-
有孩子又有事业的妻子一定很是辛苦，哪个女人不憧憬有个体贴，浪漫的男人呵护自己，从最小的事情上多多分担一些。。。收入上差点其实不算什么。。。还有有的时候我们可能太为将来忧虑而忘了ENJOY眼前的风景，建议每半年一家3口外出浪漫一次，生活多一些快乐的回忆，。。。15年，你一定比别人更知道什么事让她快乐，伤心，。。。祝福你们。。。
-yihan(逸涵);
2003-11-19
{180}
(#1474067@0)
-
鼓掌, 加油啊!
-rom(红蚂蚁);
2003-11-19
(#1474089@0)
-
not bad. keep going
-expertune(伪劣);
2003-11-19
(#1474120@0)
-
sigh, really a touching story...
-wander2001(猫行天下);
2003-11-19
(#1474122@0)
-
this post makes me crying like a baby, sigh
-table(桌子来了);
2003-11-19
(#1474145@0)
-
"I will forget it and never mention it later in my life." heihei, I doubt about it.
-holly(只羡厨师不羡仙);
2003-11-19
(#1474147@0)
-
give him a chance!!!只要有爱就有希望.
-helenintor(akuna matata);
2003-11-19
{17}
(#1474153@0)
-
Give him a chance! (Anybody who wants to say so, please say it here)
-tongcd(不明真相的总是群众);
2003-11-19
(#1474307@0)
-
说实话，我觉得LP的收入高于LG绝对是重要原因之一！！！
哎，有些女孩子太要强，同时对理想的LG的要求也很高！殊不知，谈何容易？！这样的女孩只能嫁给比自己强的LG，而且能够跟的上LP发展速度的LG!
-labourg(GeneralLabour);
2003-11-19
(#1474164@0)
-
I suggest you forget about her totally , and start a new life asap . this woman must be demanding . the love ended . all you can do is to give urself a relief . don't risk ur whole life on this woman .
-newoffer1(newoffer);
2003-11-19
(#1474280@0)
-
Be a man, be strong ! Believe that she won't back because of your begging.Move forward, do something for her : proceed the divorce, look for a place to move out, .....
stand up and take responsibilities, that's all your wife wants from you instead of begging.
Go ahead seperating, you have 1 year to show your wife you will have stand up and taken the responsibilities !
Do it !!!
-freeport(freeport);
2003-11-19
{315}
(#1474481@0)
-
Good Point! I believe the husband has asked for a chance for many times. If he could have the chane, you probably already got it. Best thing is to live well by himself.Good Point! I believe the husband has asked for a chance for many times. If he could have the chane, you probably already got it. Best thing is to live well by himself. i believe this is the only way for him to take good care of his lovely kid after divorce.
-pliss(夏季周末如金);
2003-11-19
{258}
(#1474635@0)
-
another chance? do you know what she really wants?更何况她要的你根本给不了.心理的孤立无援不是一朝一夕行成的, 十几年的婚姻已把她的心磨累了. 记得一本小说里说"女人如果不能嫁一个好男人, 这一生也只能靠自己了",这里的好男人是指理解女人心的男人.
-feather_angle(羽);
2003-11-19
{165}
(#1474697@0)
-
I bet you know what yr wife expects from you... Ask yrself how much you can change for her?...If you can not or do not like change yrself, let her go.
-baygirl(冰淇凌);
2003-11-20
(#1475969@0)
-
Really asking for a chance or offering forgiveness? Stop your BS
-worm99(worm);
2003-11-21
{1002}
(#1476962@0)
-
I do understand you. I do.I am considering the same thing. I have a son. He is only 1 year old.
As of my husband, I think I don't love him anymore. Frankly, I look down upon him. I tried not to do that, but I can't control myself.
-gototheus(gototheus);
2003-11-19
{210}
(#1474888@0)
-
请你学一下，然后解释一下 : 从父，从夫，从子，德，容，言，工五千年的文化可不是假的。。。。。。。
-freeport(别再赔了，别再赔了);
2003-11-20
{36}
(#1475120@0)
-
五千年的文化是不假, 可是社会结构总是在变啊. 人的想法也总在变啊. 不光是女人, 还包括女人.
-smilingears(微笑的耳朵);
2003-11-20
(#1475692@0)
-
真心祝福，请一路走好
-stanlic(雾里看花);
2003-11-19
{528}
(#1474889@0)
-
Good point!!
-multipass(easylife);
2003-11-20
(#1476147@0)
-
wonderful comment! although it sounds that 你在感情生活上经历很多
-xianyu(咸鱼,翻了73次身);
2003-11-20
(#1476163@0)
-
由她去吧，留下来你更不舒服。不是毁于一旦，肯定是有人了。给她自由，她会后悔的。
-ttl(有羊肉没馍了);
2003-11-19
(#1474347@0)
-
冰冻三尺，非一日之寒，这份怨尤是多年累积而成的。Your wife said: "All I asked for him before was, please stand up and take the responsibility at the times I can not do so any more. "我认为，你需要反思一下：Did you cherish her and give her the love she wants? Like you said, "她对我的怨气很深，觉得我不疼她，赖散，不思进取，无法依靠，不珍惜她". Is it true? 如果你能表示应有的关爱与感激之情， rather than taking everything for granted, this will not happen. 时至今日，也许你可以尝试与她交心，承诺改变，试试多年的感情还能否融化那日积月累的冰山. 祝你好运！
-firstwater(水水);
2003-11-19
{348}
(#1474499@0)
-
太可怕了，如果照这个逻辑就要分手，一半以上新移民家庭都在分裂危险当中。
-user7user8(nonick);
2003-11-19
(#1474549@0)
-
两片新马甲: heartbreak & wifeishere --> just for the topic?
-anewgoodman(aNewGoodMan);
2003-11-19
(#1474624@0)
-
丈夫柔弱（从名字就可以看出），妻子好强，谁都没有错，离了都解放，只可惜那小儿郎。其实丈夫的性格也是妻子培养起来的。有人说，丈夫是弹簧，你强他就弱，你弱他就强。做妻子的自以为是，事事出头，丈夫因为性格的关系总是听之人之，久而久之，妻子竟抱怨丈夫无能起来。但这不能是离婚的理由，估计是有第三者介入，果如此，已没有挽回余地。
即便离婚，也没有必要心碎。你只是找错了人，而不是你做错了事。才30出头，人生的路还长着呢, 说不定你将来会找到真正相爱的人，一个欣赏而不是嫌弃你的人。 离婚，也许为你打开一扇幸福之门！
-laotang(laotang);
2003-11-19
{422}
(#1474651@0)
-
惨....每个人在不同阶段都会有很难过的坎.that's life!
-kiwilady(running);
2003-11-19
(#1474711@0)
-
婚龄太短给不出建议，只是觉得自己应该好好珍惜自己现在所拥有的，正如楼上所说，每个阶段都有不同的困难。
-fatbean(胖豆-满不在乎打着盹);
2003-11-19
(#1474879@0)
-
Wake up call for us, bystanders.
-worm99(worm);
2003-11-20
{821}
(#1474976@0)
-
I AGREE
-simmersnake(步履无声);
2003-11-20
(#1475003@0)
-
有人让我来看看这个帖子， 说有教育意义。我看了，想说两句：就是各打五十大板。
-simmersnake(步履无声);
2003-11-20
{892}
(#1474980@0)
-
呜呼呀~~~明白人在这里哪~~:DD S劲hand一哈!!!!
-elvishcat(绿茶㊣目光炯炯);
2003-11-20
(#1475032@0)
-
最后再说一句， 我不相信妻子有外遇。妻子的心情老公无法理解而已。老公要认真检讨，挽救这场婚姻的关键是老公。好好跟你妻子谈谈， 重要的是了解她的心思。把拍领导马屁的全套功夫都使出来，毕竟， 家是最最重要的。在你倒酶的时候， 只有那个曾经跟你相依为命的人会始终在你身边。孩子长大后会离开你的， 过他们自己的生活。你身边的那个人太重要了， 要好好珍惜。
-simmersnake(步履无声);
2003-11-20
{307}
(#1474998@0)
-
:'')我跟JJ的判断一致，妻子是没有外遇的。十分同意JJ最后那句话，妻子才是跟你过一辈子的人。LG也是啊，所以劝那个太太，再给你LG一次机会吧，好吗~~:'')
-elvishcat(绿茶㊣目光炯炯);
2003-11-20
(#1475020@0)
-
他其实是DD 。。。：D
-yihan(逸涵);
2003-11-20
(#1475022@0)
-
:O这么好的男人呀~是不是已经有弟媳妇啦？:-p
-elvishcat(绿茶㊣目光炯炯);
2003-11-20
(#1475030@0)
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都快当老2的爹了！还是RR要找的音最美男歌手呢！嘿嘿，瞧我揭发的，还是让他有点隐私吧：）
-yihan(逸涵);
2003-11-20
(#1475037@0)
-
我说呢，男人哪有自学成才的呀，不都是咱们女人教育出来的:-p 嫂嫂真的好伟大呀~~:'')
-elvishcat(绿茶㊣目光炯炯);
2003-11-20
(#1475043@0)
-
你说得特对：）俺今天就是喝了两口绿茶，这会还以ROLIA为床呢：）
-yihan(逸涵);
2003-11-20
(#1475062@0)
-
:O那俺岂不是跟JJ同chuang.....啦~~:DDD
-elvishcat(绿茶㊣目光炯炯);
2003-11-20
(#1475074@0)
-
确切点是同窗：）
-yihan(逸涵);
2003-11-20
(#1475642@0)
-
我也不相信妻子有外遇，主要原因估计是人心不足蛇吞象，刚来加拿大的时候，都有工作，估计妻子还没空估计将来，现在条件好了，当然野心大了。离！支持离！既然到了这一步，求回来的也未必守的住。给你个文章看看
-arfeifei(老顽童);
2003-11-20
{3523}
(#1475659@0)
-
流水，这个可以上ROLIA晚会的预备相声：）效果绝对好
-yihan(逸涵);
2003-11-20
(#1475670@0)
-
你转帖的文章如果帖在"情爱悠悠",肯定会是某些已婚人士的靶子. 到是应该帖在水缸了,一定能激起千层浪的. :))
-pliss(夏季周末如金);
2003-11-20
(#1476202@0)
-
kao! I fule u!
-xianyu(咸鱼,翻了73次身);
2003-11-20
(#1476223@0)
-
谁告诉你要离婚就一定有外遇? 而且, 向你这种把夫妻间的事拿到网上聊,纯粹就是想把事越闹越大, 想不离都难.
再问多一句, 当初结婚是啥理由? 如果说爱是没有理由的, 为啥离婚就一定要有理由. 人,事,环境都在变, 只不过现在无法同步而已, 才会选择离婚, 彼此最好的青春都交给了对方, 你认为她就一定舍得吗?
你难过, 她也不好受. 建议你们还是自己沟通一下吧, 夫妻间的是是非非除了当事人,别人怎么可能清楚?
-mashimaro(流氓兔;我就是贪吃);
2003-11-20
{316}
(#1475131@0)
-
再写给heartbreak. I think she still loves you, but she is not in love with you anymore. You need to make her fall in love with you again. Tell her that it will happen, just like it happened some 20 years ago. 另外,你们俩的英文都不错. 应当考虑marriage counselling. 你们可以到当地市政府问一下哪里有这样的服务. 我知道每一对夫妻情况不同, 但你们的情况和有些本地人写的书里面的情况惊人的相似. 都是丈夫觉得好好的, 妻子突然就要谈一谈, 要立即离婚.
15 years is a terribly long time of feeling being ignored.
-uvw(没完);
2003-11-20
{286}
(#1475354@0)
-
Thank you very much.
-heartbreak(心碎);
2003-11-20
(#1475414@0)
-
好好把自己打扮一下，到她的单位去接她，还有孩子，然后去饭店。回家后BATH TOGETHER THEN MAKE GOOD LOVE。床上十分重要！让她觉得你很爱她，让她觉得作为女人很自豪，否则，要你有什么用，她经济又独立。
-howtimeflies(goodolddays);
2003-11-23
(#1481162@0)
-
一旦的感情毁于１５年! ---- 碎心!
-huimin(huimin);
2003-11-20
(#1475528@0)
-
Be the man that she loves and will love forever. You said, you still love her very much, give both of you a period of time, try to make her fall in love with you again, becuase hse does not love you obviously.if you really really love her, do it hard and donot ask too much, just givie and keep trying, and wish her the best! God bless you!
-dang_dang(当当);
2003-11-22
{131}
(#1479448@0)
-
谁能告诉我！到底他老婆要离婚的理由是什么？他老婆用的是什么理由？？没有人问过这个呀！这不是根本问题吗÷！
-lovedhyf(好想在一起);
2003-11-23
(#1481286@0)
-
我想对你们说!!!
-sophia2003(SOPHIA);
2003-11-24
{764}
(#1481701@0)
-
呵呵，我虽然没有结过婚。但是我也看出来了，这个妻子有外遇了。有些女人通常比较感性，会为了一些眼前的利益，一时的激情而放弃以前的一切的，放弃家庭甚至是孩子。而这样做的后果通常都是一生的悔恨。这样的女人通常只看到和未来的那个男人生活的好处，没有预见到其缺点和风险。盲目地认为目前的生活一点优点都没有。非理性的选择，苦果在后面呢，漫漫尝吧。我倒是想劝这个做丈夫的，放掉包袱，尽快调整好自己的生活。只要自己有一颗对生活的爱心，对孩子的爱心，将来一定会找到自己新的幸福的。面对现实，振作自己，学会放弃，人生道路毕竟很长呢，退一步海阔天空
-china_wei(单身帅哥);
2003-11-24
{338}
(#1481475@0)
-
我同意。任何的选择都要付出代价
-jennycc(杜子疼);
2003-11-24
(#1482843@0)
-
你没有结过婚， 说这话就难怪了。
-simmersnake(步履无声);
2003-11-24
(#1483223@0)
-
婚姻有时象股市，没进过，那知风浪高。
-cuptea(一壶茶);
2003-11-24
(#1483242@0)
-
帅哥说得好，有外遇的一方通常都没有好下场。谴责三心二意不忠实于婚姻的人。
-ddmzd(满意得直哼哼);
2003-11-24
(#1483429@0)
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冰冻三尺非一日之HAN。女人的感情尤如水龙头，一旦拧上，滴水不漏。尤其象你妻子这种好强的人，用软的没用。还是自己好自为之吧。
-jennycc(杜子疼);
2003-11-24
(#1482835@0)
-
555555555,好可怜的孩子啊~~~ 他投错胎了.
-lidia(lidia);
2003-11-26
(#1485112@0)