Girl, you think that you are a strong girl. Just like what I thought I was tough and strong. -rabbitjessy(QQ) @佛州华人论坛:佛州枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of Florida

心碎了 -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 {465} (#4563@28)
LG劝说我回国，我带着孩子回来了。很担心他一个人的生活，就总在MSN上等他, 可是,很少能等到他，昨天终于等到他了，可是他又匆匆下线。纯属偶然，我带来的NOTEBOOK上有他MSN的自动密码，我在又一次上线时不小心用了他的，结果，最不想知道的结果出现了：他的联系人中，有一个女人用4种不同的昵称出现。这个女人，我知道的，我曾遇到他躲在房间里与她上MSN，而且，更让人无法接受的是，他竟然BLOCK了我的ID, 这就是我为何总是找不到他的原因.

10 多年的夫妻了，一直很好的关系，他究竟想怎样?

:( -nini1998(妮妮--满月); 2005-4-5 (#4564@28)
唯一的办法是，不再爱他，让他意识到你已经知道了他的事，但不在乎他，他的心也许还会回来。否则无论你怎样，即使看住了他的人，也无法看住他的心。 -daylight(timebegins); 2005-4-5 (#4565@28)

but, we have 2 kids and i have no job. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4566@28)

maybe, i should stay in china, never go back to canada. i still can work with my former employer in china. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4568@28)

这样想是对的，一定要给自己留有退路，不能依靠男人，否则它会看轻你，最终离开你。孩子他是有责任的，无论如何他都跑不了，而你是独立的。这是欲擒故纵，而不是把他从身边推开。 -daylight(timebegins); 2005-4-5 (#4575@28)
You should go back to Canada on your situation. You will have big advantage over your husband in Canada, especially on divocre -rabbitjessy(QQ); 2005-4-5 {511} (#4576@28)
First of all, face this issue and be strong. I knew a single mom who has 3 kids in here.She very happliy enjoy her life in here. You don't need worry about that.

Come back to Canada. Tell him that family should be always united. If you still want to keep this marriage, you should ask him to break up with his gf. If you don't want that guy any more, go to get a lawyer to protect you and your kids' rights. Basically he should pay all the supporting fee.

Don't be scared and lose self-confident.

if we have to divorce, i won't like to take 1 cent from him. i will support my kids and myself. i can't believe he will leave us because we have a very very good relationship. i don't need his money if he want to go. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4578@28)

don't be silly. he should pay for his betray. -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4580@28)
从你的这句话来说,我感觉你老公不会和你离婚的.你是真心爱他,相信他(曾经)的,他会珍惜你.放他去玩吧,自己去工作也好,健身也好,提高自己的品味和魅力,他倦了还会回来的. -labelle(㊣完美的海盗); 2005-4-5 (#4582@28)

undoubtedly, you are a happy bachelor -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4583@28)

bachelorrete.:-P -labelle(㊣完美的海盗); 2005-4-5 (#4584@28)

really... so no chance here... -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4586@28)

哈?!难不成你把我当POTENTIAL BF了...?!哈哈. -labelle(㊣完美的海盗); 2005-4-5 (#4588@28)

good guess -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4596@28)

至少现在，他肯定没有离婚的打算。 -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 {234} (#4590@28)
我们回来后他专门安排他的父母来与我们一起住，帮我带孩子。就在前天，我向他抱怨他父母对我们在金钱上要求太多，他深更半夜专门又打电话来说，老婆，有人欺负你没有？受了委屈千万告诉我。我就是不明白他怎么能在对我温柔体贴的同时还与别的女人勾搭？
I bet you won't say that any more ,after you meet this kind of situation. -rabbitjessy(QQ); 2005-4-5 {222} (#4600@28)
Sometimes it's easy said than done. :P

You are a young pretty baby girl, you didn't really take this issue seriously. It's really hurt when you are in that situation. I went through, I think that it really sucks!

:-( I understand what you thought, maybe I'm just a strong girl, too strong as quoted by some ppl...anyway, I still think love has many way out, set him free is one way, and true love will come back to you. -labelle(㊣完美的海盗); 2005-4-5 (#4606@28)

Girl, you think that you are a strong girl. Just like what I thought I was tough and strong. -rabbitjessy(QQ); 2005-4-5 {869} (#4647@28)
I am a top sales in my pervious company. Even now, I can do 50--100 sales cold calling everyday and hear all kinds of rude yelling sometimes, Sales is a kind of career which test your persistence ,your courage, your strong mind . I knew many of tough and strong sales women. However, I still see them suffering when their marriage goes wrong.

As I can tell that you are really young, since you are using " true love". Now, I only use relationship. It doesn't mean I don't love my current bf. After years and years, love isn't the only thing in your marriage .Love might not even be the most important thing in your marriage life any more.

"Set him free" is so easy to say when you are 20 ,30s. How about 50s' or 60s. Your partner told u that he gonna to leave you . You really need a rocky heart and mind to deal all kinds of unexpect event.

don't assume she is younger than you by just looking at some pictures..... -hmh(H&M); 2005-4-5 (#4682@28)

You might be right. However, I do assume that she is younger than me.^_^ She still wear pink ,I already gave up pink after my 30 birthday. -rabbitjessy(QQ); 2005-4-5 (#4704@28)

穿粉色就年轻?MM很主观啊,和和. -labelle(㊣完美的海盗); 2005-4-5 (#4708@28)

xi xi, I am very subjective. But you are really cute, I do like ur pink skirt. I wish I can wear that kind of clothe again -rabbitjessy(QQ); 2005-4-6 (#4734@28)

Some people think that taking money from people who betray is very shameful. However, -rabbitjessy(QQ); 2005-4-5 {484} (#4599@28)
it's not the issue for diginity. It's your legal right. The supporting fee isn't for you ,more for your kids. On the other hand, life is very crucial sometimes. Money is one of life shelter. You never know what is going to happen in life.

Anyway, money isn't the issue right now. It seems you are still in love with him. So come back to Canada. Find a job and live with him to slove the problem. I don't know what's your background. It's not so hard to get job recently.
别傻了，这不是你争一口气的方式。 -holly(少生孩子多看书); 2005-4-5 (#4613@28)

和时候. -stillwater9(cartman&butters); 2005-4-5 (#4661@28)

strongly support. that's what you are supposed to do pieceheart. before you tell you husband that you have known the truth, think through all the things and all the possibile consequences and be ready for them. -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4579@28)

Confront him! -rochester(小风轻轻吹); 2005-4-5 (#4573@28)
再回到他身边吧，一家人在一起要好些吧，很同情你，但没经验. -annegirl(绿茶); 2005-4-5 (#4574@28)
这种陈世美不要也罢。不过你为什末回国呢？你没有守住阵地啊。 -goulun(goulun); 2005-4-5 (#4585@28)

just for a few months. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4587@28)

你一定要搞清楚它是不是只想打猎。对一个中年男人来说，一般十几年的夫妻，又有两子。。你们就是他的家。他如果事业有成，可能暂时有点飘飘然。 -goulun(goulun); 2005-4-5 (#4589@28)

基本上可以肯定是打猎，但是，打猎就可以原谅吗？那女人整天向他请教所谓技术问题，让他感觉自己水平挺高的 -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4591@28)

不要一下子把你发现的就定性了。除了技术问题，你还发现别的了吗？你同时看见4个昵称？就是说那个人用4个不同的账号在你老公的msn上？ -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2005-4-5 (#4593@28)

right, 4 nacknames on my busband's MSN list. i'm sure that's her. for example, the 4 names are: luoboyang, luobo-yang, luobo8, luoluo. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4598@28)

别拿我的ID乱举例子啊。。。。// 关键是发现别的什么了没有。网上谈得来的朋友，如果只是谈技术问题，有什么？ -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2005-4-5 (#4603@28)

sorry, just for eaxmple. they are not friends from internet, they met each week for some reasons. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4607@28)

哈哈,笑S.挺风趣的. -stillwater9(cartman&butters); 2005-4-5 (#4662@28)

if only for technical discussing, he doesn't need pick up so many her nacknames. in addition, my busband has a secret MSN account using his firstname with her last name. i found it in the notebook by default. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4604@28)

如果4个accounts都是一个人，只是说明这个人被加了4次而已，原因可能有很多种。至于你丈夫的什么secret account，简直就有点儿可笑了，难道你知道你丈夫所有的email账号？如果他用YM， icq, QQ，skype等等等等网上聊天工具呢？ -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2005-4-5 (#4611@28)

tell you truth, he lists his all email accounts in outlook, both of us can go to his any account in our family cumputer without type in passward. i thought he never hide anything to me. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4614@28)
i am sure there are something wrong with her husband. she is too innocent already, don't push her go farer. if possible, tell her how to stop it... -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4616@28)

If a husband goes out to meet another woman each week for some reasons, then what's the reason? That's the problem is. Find the real reason, and stay with him, do not sepreate. -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2005-4-5 (#4620@28)

good girl... -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4621@28)
actually, they met together in a class. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4624@28)

看看，看看，又出来一点儿新情况，你不说的话，还以为他们每个星期约会呢。每个故事表面类似，背后有各种各样的内涵，我们在这里只能从你单方面描述的加以评论，经常打歪靶子的。 -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2005-4-5 (#4627@28)

这本来就是猜测，那么根据我所说的这些情况，你感觉最有可能的是什么呢？如果有人告诉我这是我自己在自寻烦恼, 我会谢天谢地的。 -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4639@28)

谁都不用谢,回来和老公一起好好生活就好 -thiamin(梅干菜烧肉); 2005-4-5 (#4640@28)

#4621 -yuanzidan(原子弹); 2005-4-5 (#4629@28)

he added her 4 different accounts. only 6-7 names on his list and she has 4! his this real name account only for family. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4617@28)
my husband never chat on internet -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4628@28)

着啊！罚陈驸马给湘莲跪搓板儿好了！ -goulun(goulun); 2005-4-5 (#4597@28)

这男人也够蠢的，居然不知道不密码改了 -malcolmxu(字者); 2005-4-5 (#4592@28)

now i know the key of your happy marriage -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4594@28)
he changed that 1 hour ago, i can't log in anymore. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4601@28)

It seems he always browse Rolia -malcolmxu(字者); 2005-4-5 (#4602@28)

no, he never come here. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4609@28)

u should get some sleep now,it's so late in China. -caba(天蝎蝴蝶); 2005-4-5 (#4605@28)

i can't sleep tonight. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4608@28)

I know it's hard,but just try,I bet your kids dont wanna see a sad,sleepless" panda" mom. The only thing u can do is talk to your hubby directly . -caba(天蝎蝴蝶); 2005-4-5 (#4612@28)

if you can tell her how to talk to her hubby, maybe helpful for her sleep -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4618@28)

thank you. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4626@28)

i'm waiting to talk with him. he is working now so i have to wait until he goes home. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4625@28)

you are really a nice wife -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4630@28)

do you think she can get asleep? -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4610@28)

既然是十多年的夫妻了, 把你的猜疑和不高兴告诉他, 态度要好, 半开玩笑都成, 如果他收敛了, 最好了, 这个年纪的男人,家和孩子已经成了他不可分割的一部分, 不要太猜疑, 不要太担心. 当然最好的办法是回来和他在一起. -firefox(火狐之雪霁); 2005-4-5 (#4623@28)

看到的回帖中唯一一个比较理智的.回来,和他一起. -thiamin(梅干菜烧肉); 2005-4-5 (#4632@28)

大家都在帮忙分析，不需要再多一个评判了。 -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2005-4-5 (#4634@28)

我是在告诉楼主,理智些. -thiamin(梅干菜烧肉); 2005-4-5 (#4636@28)
MSN上加个人就有人跳出来离婚什么的,简直too simple, too naive -thiamin(梅干菜烧肉); 2005-4-5 (#4638@28)

MSN上加个人就有人跳出来说心碎了。// #4627 -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2005-4-5 (#4641@28)

看人本性吧，有时候在一起也不能保证什么 -sharon911(雨--过天晴); 2005-4-5 (#4648@28)

不是保证,而是只有在一起生活才有共同生活的基础 -thiamin(梅干菜烧肉); 2005-4-5 (#4651@28)

in our plan, we will stay in china for 6 more months, i really don't know i should go to canada now or stay in china. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 {125} (#4633@28)
i'm sure if we live together, he won't play so free. i know he loves our family . but we just arrived china a few days ago.

先跟他谈一下.一家人一定要在一起的.你别想太多了.你老公现在可能一点事都没有.再过半年,就不知道了. -thiamin(梅干菜烧肉); 2005-4-5 (#4635@28)

i do hope so, thanks. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4642@28)

好了,睡觉去吧... -thiamin(梅干菜烧肉); 2005-4-5 (#4643@28)

So, don't give him excuse and chance. Just do what you need to do.Good luck -purplecold(映秀); 2005-4-5 (#4658@28)
我觉得你应该回来一下看看是怎么回事，这么戴在国内怕也整天一身一归，这是中年危机，解决好一辈子幸福，不好，就散滩了。难说他不是觉得哪个女的动心，想趁这半年也理清自己的心绪。我觉得不应该给他太多时间。 -ningxin0809(雁影行洲); 2005-4-5 (#4660@28)

同意, 楼住结婚十几年了, 思想一点也不成熟, 象小孩子, 男人有些fantasy也正常. 让他去玩把, 要把男人变成鸽子,飞一阵就回家了. -guest518(人生过客); 2005-4-5 (#4655@28)

你是男的吧?在这个问题上好象只有我一个女的跟你观点一致,还被人说不成熟:-((( -labelle(㊣完美的海盗); 2005-4-5 (#4664@28)

知音呀,抱一下. 其实,那女人一定缺乏魅力和信心才会这样. -guest518(人生过客); 2005-4-5 (#4702@28)

耐心，等待，假装不知道。。 -111111(快乐老家); 2005-4-5 (#4649@28)
对不起各位女士了，误闯闺房，大哥失礼了。。。。 -111111(快乐老家); 2005-4-5 (#4650@28)
或许只是寂寞男人的红粉而已。不要想得太多。 -purplecold(映秀); 2005-4-5 (#4657@28)
打电话问他为什么BLOCK自己老婆的ID，写封信，打电话告诉哪个女的以后有技术问题问别人，你LG他太忙 CC 给你老公。这时候宁可错杀1000，也不放过1个。不过30多岁的男银，就是放他们出去吃草，估计也吃不到啥。 -ningxin0809(雁影行洲); 2005-4-5 (#4659@28)
先想好你自己需要什么，你为了孩子可以接受的底线是什么，然后再决定回还是留，离还是和。 -polareskimo(Inuit); 2005-4-5 (#4665@28)
你现在没有工作，没有能力离开他，只有装着不知道，不要闹，不要问他为什么BLOCK你，是最好的处理方法。一点点拉回他的心，不过你还是要自立，起码应该有生存能力，不然你在他眼里就是孩子母亲，没有任何魅力可言。 -lotustears(快雪识晴); 2005-4-5 (#4676@28)

i don't work only because i have a little baby. i have strong background to find a job. -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4700@28)

If i were you i would find part time job and part time babysitter. -qgomle(qgomle); 2005-4-5 (#4713@28)

AGREE -lotustears(快雪识晴); 2005-4-5 (#4714@28)

谢谢各位的帮助，刚才与LG通过电话，他说与她没什么。信誓旦旦的说爱我，爱孩子。并且保证断绝与她的所有联系。我虽然仍感觉不舒服，也只有算了。隔那么远，就姑且信之吧。不敢呆够半年了，再过1-2 个月，就回去看着他。 -pieceheart(pieceheart); 2005-4-5 (#4699@28)

glad for you , take care -icicle(icicle); 2005-4-5 (#4703@28)
那叫他把密码交给你，以便监督 -malcolmxu(字者); 2005-4-5 (#4706@28)
why do not you go back NOW? Should not wait.! -qgomle(qgomle); 2005-4-5 (#4712@28)
你这样想就对了.不过尽量早点回来吧,还要切记回来后最好别提这事了,当它真空.女人哪,婚前要睁大双眼,婚后要眯着眼,既要随时盯盯,又要在必要时方便眨眨眼. -qiangwei(白天不懂夜的黑); 2005-4-5 (#4717@28)
恕我直言，这时候男人的信誓旦旦，等于 O 后面那个字。。。还是多留个心眼儿吧，别太轻信也别逼得太紧，这个度挺难描述的。 -holly(少生孩子多看书); 2005-4-5 (#4718@28)

有两个孩子那,稍微有人味的都不会那个吧. -qiangwei(白天不懂夜的黑); 2005-4-5 (#4720@28)

难说，男人有时是动物。每个人都有迷失的时候。。 -lotustears(快雪识晴); 2005-4-6 (#4721@28)
waht abut "XU GE HUI"s husband? -raul(书中自有颜如玉); 2005-4-6 (#4731@28)

那个男人没一点人味. -qiangwei(白天不懂夜的黑); 2005-4-6 (#4738@28)

男人的心是看不住的，看住人也没有什么意思。网恋的浪漫总是能遮盖现实的琐碎。让他知道真实平淡，相濡以沫的生活才是最真实的。。。 -hedongxiaoshizi(河东小狮子); 2005-4-6 {654} (#4828@28)
平静而宽容的对待这件事。也不要被动的等，早些和他团聚或如果有条件，这一两个月让他回国看你们，暂时离开那个女人的视线，可能他会清醒一些。这个时候，男人的心是痛苦而脆弱的。你逼他，就只能吧他推向别人的怀抱。宽容一些，就当他是做错了事的孩子，你是可以收留他的港湾。那时候再好好谈谈（如果你还觉得有必要），让他知道你也有底限。谈完以后，就再也不要提这件事，让它淡了忘了。。。人生的插曲很多，你就当你听了一首不太喜欢的歌。但是，它还是不会影响你生活的主旋律。
完善自己，充实生活，溶入这个社会。让他知道有个肩膀靠最好。没有，你也同样活得美丽，自立，从容。
尽管我是女人，但是我觉得婚姻有问题很多时候会是两个人的原因，有时候要想一下你给对方的是不是他真的最需要的。

夫妻一定要在一起生活，一定一定！除非不想保持婚姻关系！！！夫妻的分居，无论对男方还是女方，随时都可能带来婚外情！这是正常的。因为人是有情感的，有需求的，尤其当事人是很优秀的。 -beijingwang(前生注定); 2005-4-6 (#4735@28)
看你能不能接受这样的情况。我有这样的男同事，他们在外面有女朋友，但是家里关系搞得非常好。 -mimier(mimier); 2005-4-6 {160} (#4897@28)
如果女朋友会伤害到家庭，他们就不会与她交往下去。对他们来说，首先他们保护家庭，在这个基础上，他们也要在外面玩。这样的男人不是少数。如果你丈夫是这样的，你接受吗？

我们怎么认识同样的人呢?我那位同事还说:如果要影响到家庭,用多少钱都要了结. -qiangwei(白天不懂夜的黑); 2005-4-7 (#4909@28)

你说的是中国人吗？如果是，那时全世界的男人都一样。我说的是老外。 -mimier(mimier); 2005-4-8 (#5193@28)

再说一个，可能会挨转了。 -mimier(mimier); 2005-4-6 {256} (#4899@28)
我曾经长期出差。有一大帮男同事。我发现了这么一个特点。
老实本分的男人，在外面也没有啥花样，不是每次回家都给老婆孩子带礼物的。在外面胡作的男人，每次回家都牢记给老婆带礼物。
不要对号入座。

如果你老公出差回来，没有带礼物，不要生气，他一定没有在外面乱来。

很对啊!\我的一个男同事一起出差胡作非为后,连给丈母娘的礼物都不会忘,还很用心的选里. -qiangwei(白天不懂夜的黑); 2005-4-7 (#4907@28)

可能是心虚。本能所致 -mimier(mimier); 2005-4-8 (#5192@28)

无事献殷勤,非奸即盗. 哈哈... -laurel_hu(taozi); 2005-4-8 (#5201@28)

@Florida

Girl, you think that you are a strong girl. Just like what I thought I was tough and strong.

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