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Understand the other one before trying to be understood

frozenheart(冰)

I experienced the similar pain for a period after I married my wide. Both of us suffered by the fights. We ended up wih separation and I am trying to save our marriage. I don't know what my wife is thinking now.

My wife suggested me to read a book <<The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People>> before. But I didn't read it at that time. Recently I read it and improved my self much and understand her more now. Most of our fights were caused by different views of the same things. If I had read the book before, our marriage should have entered the current bad situation.

The most lesson I got from the book is to understand the other one before trying to be understood.

(#11732@28)
Last Updated: 2006-5-29

Replies, comments and Discussions:

how to deal with stress.please....struggling -lovetiger(LittleTiger); 2006-3-10 {557} (#11449@28)
If you are in the period of having a lot of stress (related to someone you care or love), and you can not help falling into argues with the one related, because you have different points and there is no common solution. You regret afterwards, but it will come back to you again whenever you discuss the same issues. You are hurting each other, and you are torturing each other. So, what do you usually do in this case? How to deal with the stress?How to avoid the arguments? Everyone might have the same situation, so anything you share will be appreciated.

I prefer not to discuss the same issue anymore, There is no right or wrong in lots of situations. -nimox(Nimo); 2006-3-10 {189} (#11450@28)
People have the right to keep their own view. On the other hand, It doesn' t mean anything even you can prove you are right. The important thing is understand, love and forgive each other.

thank you Nimox. -lovetiger(LittleTiger); 2006-3-10 {223} (#11451@28)
I know, but sometimes it is hard to accept something that I think it is unfair for me, or people tend to get more and more what they should deserve. Shall we care how much we get (like care or attention) from the other one?

seperate for a while and calm down, then decide where to go. If you two have different goal in life, you have to let go some times. -tuantuan(givemeabreak); 2006-3-10 (#11454@28)
Can I ask you a question before I say anything further? Are you newly-wed? Or what kind of relation you are in? Spouse? Deep relationship friends?...Each situation is different. -michellechole(Michelle Chloe); 2006-5-28 (#11730@28)
Understand the other one before trying to be understood -frozenheart(冰); 2006-5-29 {681} (#11732@28)
I experienced the similar pain for a period after I married my wide. Both of us suffered by the fights. We ended up wih separation and I am trying to save our marriage. I don't know what my wife is thinking now.

My wife suggested me to read a book <<The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People>> before. But I didn't read it at that time. Recently I read it and improved my self much and understand her more now. Most of our fights were caused by different views of the same things. If I had read the book before, our marriage should have entered the current bad situation.

The most lesson I got from the book is to understand the other one before trying to be understood.
Break up. -jeffrey815(Smartiecat); 2006-6-4 (#11751@28)
cry...or do nothing and just take it -may2002beijing(想飞。。。); 2006-6-11 (#11786@28)
看这个 -crystal_clear(水晶心); 2006-6-12 (#11794@28)
Wanted to support you,but find I have nothing to say, I have been a loser in this field though I know to pray can help, but it does not work on me yet. -ingridbianhy(nini); 2006-6-14 (#11823@28)

@Florida

Understand the other one before trying to be understood

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