Gabriel, I am symphasize for you because you sound like girls refuse you before they see you. Well I can tell you my story.

weekend0801tor(weekend)

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛The reason I brought up this topic here is trying to help all of us (men and women). It is our mutual problem.

I am not trying to make you angry. I don't mind if you don't do the same for me (I know how the Chinese guys in Canada like). I just want find out why. Because in China I did meet guys of good quality. I don't know why I can't find them here. If you can help me to find where I went wrong. I will very appreciate.

I met my ex half a year ago after all these years (he seems a little better than the rest I met, not in terms of job, or salary, or goodlooking), but because he seems to me a nice person and will care for me and we can together make a happy life even if we are not rich.

I was wrong, he cares for his money without even knowing it. He can use my money without any hesitation, but it is difficult for him to even pay for the dinner out. Money is one thing, the other is his ability. He's been in Canada many years, should have equivalent experience like I do. But he can't help when I needed him. He actually tried to help as long as it is nothing related with his money, but he only mess things up. He says he loves me more than anything else and that he will never marry if I am not his wife, but I can't accept the way he loves me. It is different from the way I love him. If I love someone, I will give him everything. If I already give my heart, what else I need to hide from him?

He knows why I left him and he still can't make that up even though he "loves me more than anything else."

I believe white men are very clear about money terms. They won't lure a Chinese girl just because of their money. They have something else. I don't like white man but I was forced to look to the white men because Chinese men are very disappointing.

You said there are more Chinese men than Chinese women in Canada and that's why the girls have more choices, if that is the only reason, then the girls should be able to find a relatively good man and most of the Chinese men should be able to find a good match, only a few of them will be the unlucky ones. But you know and I know this is not the case as most of the Chinese men are still available.

I am very sad, and I couldn't find out an answer to satisfy myself.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

(#336327@0)
Last Updated: 2002-1-16
This post has been archived. It cannot be replied.

Not Really......There are always every type of man/woman everywhere! -babyface(Tracy); 2002-1-13 (#333172@0)

People in toronto tend to be more material ( have to be ??), It's true! -babyface(Tracy); 2002-1-14 (#333848@0)

It's not true. For example, I am an exception -littlebrother(弟弟); 2002-1-13 (#333185@0)

无病呻吟 + 恶人先告状。谁不知道中国女士出来以后择偶范围比在国内大了许多。 -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-13 (#333340@0)

hehe -hooligan(牛虻); 2002-1-13 (#333377@0)
I wouldn't call a drunker a good man. and Gabriel, I wish what you said is true. But this is not what I have seen. -weekend0801tor(weekend); 2002-1-13 (#333415@0)

一个原国内IT女士,来这里一直在超市打工,,可以轻而易举地拒掉几个华人追求者(都是有不错工作的),而找上一个白人,在多伦多豪华之处同住一房. -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-13 (#333443@0)

如果是倒过来,连自己的老婆都受不住! -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-13 (#333445@0)
所以男士的最后的救命稻草是在这里有了一些基础后回国找. -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-13 (#333447@0)
Did you ask why the girl refuse the Chinese men with good jobs? Do you think job means everything? You think the girl chose the white man and live with him is because of his money? -weekend0801tor(weekend); 2002-1-15 {191} (#335648@0)
What's the difference between the white man's money and the Chinese men's money? You actually think money determines everything?! I feel sorry for you because you will never get true love.

So she likes the white color, doesn't she? Well that I will never get true love is better than I got screwed up by some dirty-minded Chinese women. -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-15 (#335881@0)

之所以一些women到这之后就变得抢手，因为：1这里中国男女比例(指available)失调；2这里男的都不怎么情愿回国找因相隔太远难以了解成本也高；3女的在这里只要“想开了”是很容易“溶入社会”的。(其实这些人在国内作为女人并没有很多的吸引力，无论在年龄相貌或综合素质) -albert2001(再来一次); 2002-1-16 {114} (#335906@0)
鉴于此，DX们要在这找不到合适的，千万不要凑合, 回去找。找wife可是比移民还重要的事啊，为什么就不能比移民多花些精力呢

有理.中国男士必须有骨气有主见.不然被人贱卖了还在网上遭骂.所以除非这里天上掉馅饼(掉黄的和掉白的可能性差不多),一定要抱回去找的准备. -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-16 {290} (#335917@0)
我朋友早就对这里的女移民有戒心.如果有中国女孩跟他接近,他会怀疑,"既然,
她可以找白的,为什么来套我,必然是别有用心,有些见不的当地人的事情来找
我帮,再把我蹬了."虽然他做得过分,不过小心无大过.

虽然说回去找也可能不安全.不过就算被耍了,全当帮一人到北美,死后修阴德.
而这里的女孩没有你也死不了.
The relationship between Chinese men and Chinese women here is something like China and Japan. Although the skin color is the same and they share many things, they can never come together. -neal(chipmunk); 2002-1-16 (#335931@0)
4. Some Chinese men are of low dignity. They are doing everything to please these women and finally spoil them and make them forget who they are. -neal(chipmunk); 2002-1-16 (#335933@0)

而且中国男士她是连见都不见就拒绝的.这能说明些问题吧. -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-15 (#335897@0)

Why not? -drunker(酒囊饭袋); 2002-1-14 (#334237@0)

无病呻吟+恶人先告状。谁不知道中国女士出国后择偶范围比在国内大得多？ -marriner(marriner); 2002-1-13 (#333346@0)

就是 -bigguy(彪形大汉); 2002-1-13 (#333375@0)

What kind of man would you call a good man? -drunker(酒囊饭袋); 2002-1-13 (#333348@0)

这位姑娘,不必失望,给我封短信,咱们聊聊 -singlemale29(真爱无敌); 2002-1-14 (#333711@0)

I don't buy what you are saying in your message. -xdyun999(tiger); 2002-1-15 {302} (#335548@0)

It may be some that kind of boys , but it is not like what you said in your messge.
There are still a lot good gentlemen in this world, especially in Toronto, such as myself.
Maybe you didn't meet such kind gentleman.
I am sure you will have an opportunity in the future.

good luck.

xiaodong

Thanks for your good wish. I have been in Canada for five years. -weekend0801tor(weekend); 2002-1-15 {252} (#335652@0)
First three years in Ottawa, last two years in toronto, I didn't see even a shadow of a good man(I mean single man, not the ones already married back in China and come here, these are normal persons). Can you tell me why you call yourself a good man?

Why don't think about the reason of yourself? You are perfect and Chinese men are evil. Why come here and discuss with the guys you despise. Do not waste your time as well as ours. -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-16 (#335886@0)

Gabriel, I am symphasize for you because you sound like girls refuse you before they see you. Well I can tell you my story. -weekend0801tor(weekend); 2002-1-16 {2270} (#336327@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛The reason I brought up this topic here is trying to help all of us (men and women). It is our mutual problem.

I am not trying to make you angry. I don't mind if you don't do the same for me (I know how the Chinese guys in Canada like). I just want find out why. Because in China I did meet guys of good quality. I don't know why I can't find them here. If you can help me to find where I went wrong. I will very appreciate.

I met my ex half a year ago after all these years (he seems a little better than the rest I met, not in terms of job, or salary, or goodlooking), but because he seems to me a nice person and will care for me and we can together make a happy life even if we are not rich.

I was wrong, he cares for his money without even knowing it. He can use my money without any hesitation, but it is difficult for him to even pay for the dinner out. Money is one thing, the other is his ability. He's been in Canada many years, should have equivalent experience like I do. But he can't help when I needed him. He actually tried to help as long as it is nothing related with his money, but he only mess things up. He says he loves me more than anything else and that he will never marry if I am not his wife, but I can't accept the way he loves me. It is different from the way I love him. If I love someone, I will give him everything. If I already give my heart, what else I need to hide from him?

He knows why I left him and he still can't make that up even though he "loves me more than anything else."

I believe white men are very clear about money terms. They won't lure a Chinese girl just because of their money. They have something else. I don't like white man but I was forced to look to the white men because Chinese men are very disappointing.

You said there are more Chinese men than Chinese women in Canada and that's why the girls have more choices, if that is the only reason, then the girls should be able to find a relatively good man and most of the Chinese men should be able to find a good match, only a few of them will be the unlucky ones. But you know and I know this is not the case as most of the Chinese men are still available.

I am very sad, and I couldn't find out an answer to satisfy myself.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

Well. -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-16 {1783} (#336384@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛1. If the man cares money more about you, i.e. his is over stingy, it is
better to break up with him.

2. Before marriage, better mind your finance separately. Of course, you can
invite him for dinner and pay the bill, or he can do so. But for large amount
of money, usually it is a different story. So you have to manage to live
on your income and so is for him. Women people are more clear on this issue.
When they date, they pay by Dutch for dinner, even they plan to make love
after the dinner.

3. I can not understand what "help" means. For instance, if possible, I can
give my friends rides to the airport, which is in my ability. But I will not
let my friends borrow my car for driving practice before their road test.

4. Remember in Canada, do not expect to borrow money/car/wife from others.

5. Abstract love is not steadfast at all. You should share some interests, some
topics, and take some activities, like sports and trips, together. In Canada, it is amazing that you have choice to arrange such activities even you are not rich at all. Otherwise,it is hard to go further. So if some common interests do
not appear, abstract words like "give all hearts" really mean little.

6. The pressure here does cause some trouble to Chinese family and lovers. A lot
of Chinese men and women are becoming ill-tempered here because of job and
other issues. The other tendency is over-self-protectiveness, which keeps people
from being genuine. Although I do not like, but I can not get rid of it by
myself.

7. Do not be enraged... The issue of women is the age and face, while the issue
of men is wealth. A not-so-good-looking woman will even not condescend to consider a poor man, and vice versa. That makes matchmaking rather difficult.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

What help means is related with ability. -weekend0801tor(weekend); 2002-1-17 {886} (#337410@0)
When I was talking about help, I didn't mean willingness or not. It is strictly related with his ability to do things. There are so many ways of doing one thing. He chose the most difficult and costly way because he doesn't have enough life experience or he is not mature enough.

I agree with you that love is cultivated by sharing common interests, by going out for all kinds of activities and meeting all kinds of people. Well, he doesn't think so. He said I came to your home everyday so that you can understand me better. We did nothing else in my home except having dinner together. I didn't see he has any uniqueness in using the chopsticks!

I got a few response from this site, some sending emails to me. Most of them are guys and they are all better than my ex. I don't know why I chose him. I don't have good eye sight, that is my weakness and I will remember that.

你觉得这男士白在加拿大活了那么多年.不过DATING如果没有什么情趣, 只是吃饭,是比较痛苦.我知道一个主,在美国加拿大呆了7年还不会开车.结果老婆跟一个多伦多的司机跑了.HEHE. -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-17 (#338011@0)

反正你见不到中国好男人,或者进不到中国好男人的圈子里,你自己有没有什么问题?你有没有对男士的背景有什么要求(如CORNELL以下不嫁)?这里男多女少,谁挑谁不是昭然若揭的吗? -xavier(Gabriel); 2002-1-16 {379} (#335903@0)
有工作有经济基础不能说明他好,但也不能说明他不好.
当然,我也看到过一些女孩,人是不错的,可惜年龄和长相...,对这样的女士,我
会以礼相待,但不会去追.还有一些女孩太强了,比如HARVARD MBA,一般男
士不敢追.男士娶白MM难,不过回国的挑选余地显然大得多.
有些女孩要求太高,要有钱,还要ROMANTIC和HUMOROUS,而且还要听话,
这种女孩惹不起躲得起.
另外,就是有些女士在网上夸大其词,混淆视听,这就十分可恶了.

@Florida

Gabriel, I am symphasize for you because you sound like girls refuse you before they see you. Well I can tell you my story.

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