If you were me, what are you gonna do?

primo(Primo)

I have been dating my Pakistanian boyfriend for some time now. He has been in North America for 12 years. He is 33 yrs this year. He works as a finanacial analyst in a big company and makes 40,000 per year. He is very good looking and is not muslim. He is more like western people but he is very demanding and likes to control things. The problem I had with him is that he is still in debt - which is his student loan - 50,000USD. I have no idea when he can pay it off. He does not have a car. But he is funny person. He asks me to marry him for many times. I said it is not the time since I make more money than him. Now he is saying, if I do not want to marry him, he will go for others. I am 28 yrs. What should I do?

(#1765858@0)
Last Updated: 2004-6-15
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难啊，连你都出问题了。我害怕，哈 -china_wei(alchemist); 2004-6-15 (#1765865@0)

What you mean? -primo(Primo); 2004-6-15 (#1765887@0)

1拍2散 -soimer(北约克); 2004-6-15 (#1765875@0)

Forget him, turn to somebody else. This is the comment from a guy who is standing without waist pain. -noproblem(大可以); 2004-6-15 (#1765880@0)

marrage is serious thing. think it over. I can smell some problem in your short description. -pleased(please); 2004-6-15 (#1765895@0)

You gave me some advice before. -wineandance(对酒当歌); 2004-6-15 {629} (#1765902@0)

I think if you are doing it just for fun, then let it go. If you really fall for him, look into his future. How come he is 33 and is still paying back the student loans? The key is you should have similar plans and values in life, then you can do it together no matter how hard it is.

Anyways, I still do not have much experience. But I do think most computer geeks and workaholic earn more money, but they are seldom available to you. You call them, and ended up talking to their secretaries and even computers, except that you have a $1,000,000 business that you want to negotiate. This is exactly what my then BF was like!

这要是把这GG换上一中国人,在MM眼里也就是一垃圾; 碰上是一老外,变得难分难舍了..哎. -eagle_no1(瞎起哄); 2004-6-15 (#1766171@0)

新生事物嘛，总是要先研究的。 30多了，本身还是做财会的，居然还能欠一PG的债，跟姜籽的银过日子，估计就是去WONDERLAN做过山车的感觉 -ningxin0809(雁影行洲); 2004-6-15 (#1766177@0)

现在的MM全玩心跳去了; 咱村的小芳那去了? -eagle_no1(瞎起哄); 2004-6-15 (#1766197@0)

搬搬说，去发廊了。 -maple88(枫叶); 2004-6-15 (#1766205@0)

YO.......:-) -babyface(●★猫猫睡觉觉★●); 2004-6-15 (#1766266@0)

就是啊！ -arfeifei(老顽童誓把主坛变水缸); 2004-6-15 (#1766182@0)
Please be respectful. Respect people have right to choose and you too. Respect that you are a Chinese, you do not have to look down on yourself. You should be take pride in being a Chinese -wineandance(对酒当歌); 2004-6-15 (#1766210@0)

看来MM最近心情不好啊,我就不跟你计较了,have fun on forum.. -eagle_no1(瞎起哄); 2004-6-15 (#1766220@0)

HEHE, thanks, this time I like what you said -wineandance(对酒当歌); 2004-6-15 (#1766228@0)

If I were you, I have nothing to do besides digging a big (__________) here. -redbird(不爱武装爱红妆); 2004-6-15 (#1766199@0)

He really need a woman. A woman has income to support him. If you don't want to support him, he has to find another one. He need money woman!!! For him, it does make sense. How about you? what do you need? -sally_2004(SALLY); 2004-6-15 (#1766211@0)

哪个男的漂亮，职业也拿得出手，也算不错8。不过就是30多了还有债，挺讨厌的 -ningxin0809(雁影行洲); 2004-6-15 (#1766216@0)

我的意思是说，专门有一批外族男人，利用女人的痴情，肆意从女人身上捞取经济利益。这些人嘴甜，满嘴谎话，特会关心人，懂得女人心理，就是只索取，不付出。吃了政府再吃女人，有是还不只吃一个女人，要小心。我有个朋友曾经上当。 -sally_2004(SALLY); 2004-6-15 (#1766242@0)

原闻其详。。。 -arfeifei(老顽童趴在墙上等红杏); 2004-6-15 (#1766292@0)

这个坑我来跳—— -polareskimo(Inuit挨踢菜菜鸟); 2004-6-15 {405} (#1766233@0)

如果你真爱他，而他不是为了娶个女人解决自己的财务问题的话，我想肤色或债务不是什么问题。不过一定要确认他不是为了钱而和你结婚。当然，如果你是为了钱，就不要理他了，绝对是没有投资前景的。

30多岁有债务也很正常，例如买房啊，或以前投资失败啊，或读书读的晚啊（象很多ROLIA上读书的不都是贷款的吗，好多也是30多才毕业吧），关键是你要搞明白他到底是怎么欠下这些钱的，为什么这么多。从这些也许能帮助你进一步了解这个人。

瞎跳!肤色和语言绝对是问题,周围有活生生的例子. -eagle_no1(瞎起哄); 2004-6-15 (#1766258@0)

当然，对某些MN而言只要会说HOW MUCH就好了。。。可能我的朋友嫁老外的是比较少，不过个个都很幸福。我也认识嫁给很穷的中国人的，也很幸福。总之，不幸的东西大概都被我过滤了。 -polareskimo(Inuit挨踢菜菜鸟); 2004-6-15 (#1766283@0)

那也不能说随便嫁个人就找到幸福了,是吧? -eagle_no1(瞎起哄); 2004-6-15 (#1766312@0)

FT! 我的意思是随便嫁吗？真是坑难跳啊，不管坑主是否等着填埋，你等闲人总要不忘扔几把土呛人。:-X -polareskimo(Inuit挨踢菜菜鸟); 2004-6-15 (#1766324@0)

仓天在上!我是要把你从坑里拉出来啊! -eagle_no1(瞎起哄); 2004-6-15 (#1766346@0)

地藏在下！你还不如也跳下坑来更有人味。:-P -polareskimo(Inuit挨踢菜菜鸟); 2004-6-15 (#1766357@0)

Try to ask him about pre-marriage treaty. -babyface(●★猫猫睡觉觉★●); 2004-6-15 {105} (#1766275@0)

I am not saying you really gonna do it, but it's good to tell a person to see how he react at edges. :-)

Good and very constructive idea :-) -wineandance(对酒当歌); 2004-6-15 (#1766285@0)

很高兴片尾辞这样写道：“献给中国，为她对巴基斯坦的友谊。” -lilyba(sunshine); 2004-6-15 {766} (#1766296@0)

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dump him -haihai(享受阳光); 2004-6-15 (#1766303@0)

放弃吧,很多老外都知道中国人能攒钱. 别把28岁当考虑因素,你还是未婚啊.如果和老外结婚以后,发现不对再离,你想反过头来找中国GG几乎不可能了.也不排除那老外是真心的,可总得给自己留个后路吧?当然如果爱到无怨无悔,那就忠实于感情吧. -chachacha(茉莉花); 2004-6-15 (#1766323@0)

TNND这世界真不公平，为啥人家老外心态就能这么好，三十多了欠下五万美金还天天尽想着与MM打情骂俏。咱中国男人为啥 -itseemslike(itseemslike); 2004-6-18 {382} (#1770011@0)

就那么累，咱和他差不多年纪，虽然也没什么钱，但至少净资产跟他比多个六七万美金应该是没有问题的，可为什么就因为没有很专业的工作，连泡MM的心情都没有。（当然正在努力找好的工作，而且相信会找到。）天天还尽烦恼未立业如何成家的形而上的问题。再说了，这MM要是碰上的是咱中国的GG也象他那样欠着5万美金，她还会下不了决心地在rolia上面寻偏方妙药，我看她早就把冷屁股对上人家热脸了，众位GGDD说是不是？

//shake hand -arfeifei(老顽童趴在墙上等红杏); 2004-6-18 (#1770162@0)
我这几天说了半天，就是这个意思。中国人就是思想负担太重，什么担子都想挑。尽力就好，别勉强自己，压力太大。别老看明天，明天永远不会到，今天高兴才是真的。当然，还是要负责任的，呵呵：） -wineandance(对酒当歌); 2004-6-18 (#1770208@0)
另外，别说得那么难听，什么"MM要是碰上的是咱中国的GG也象他那样欠着5万美金，...，我看她早就把冷屁股对上人家热脸了" 爱情是不分国界的, 呵呵 -wineandance(对酒当歌); 2004-6-18 (#1770212@0)

我是不反对中国JM外嫁的，不过这位巴国GG的条件是在是太。。。 -pp_mm(老太太); 2004-6-18 (#1770227@0)

You got a point, .........actually. -babyface(●★猫猫睡觉觉★●); 2004-6-18 (#1770230@0)

Thanks a lot for all the poeple who gives me suggestions -primo(Primo); 2004-6-18 {253} (#1770540@0)

I finally break up with him yesterday.
It seems I am a little money hungry. But when it comes to the marriage, I gotta be down to the earth.
Actually he is a very honest and funny guy. He is very handsome.
But ....
I am too much money-oriented.!
I

your life, your choice. -pleased(please); 2004-6-18 (#1770619@0)

@Florida

If you were me, what are you gonna do?

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