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临睡前放松一下哈

*Today I donated my watch, phone and $500 to a poor guy. You don't know the happiness I felt as I saw him put his knife back in his pocket.😬*

2. *I miss times when I was working at the zoo. My boss fired me just because I left the lion's gate open. I mean who would steal a lion?🤭*

3. *I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, "I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.“ Then I said, "turn left".🤨* *🙄

4. Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get to the Pharmacy for their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?🤔* *🙄

5.Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and yet get a diet coke?🤔* *🙄

6.Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens on the counter tops?🤔* *🙄Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?🤔* *🙄

7.Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin?🤔* *🙄

8.Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?😵‍💫* 🙄

9.Why is *'abbreviated'* such a long word?🧐 🙄

10.Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do *'practice'?😇* *🙄

11. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?*🤪 *🙄

12.Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?*😔 🙄

13.Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called the *rush hour?*😏 *🙄

14.Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 🤔* 🙄

15.You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? *Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??*😉 🙄

16.Why don't sheep shrink when it rains, whereas Sweaters of Wool, do?🤪 🙄

17. Why are they called apartments *when they are all stuck together?*😏 🙄

18. If flying is so safe, *why do they call the airport the terminal?*😠 😜

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread this stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)... 😜 😋 *We all need to smile every once in a while.* 😜 *A Day Without Laughter* is a *DAY Wasted !*🤩

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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / 临睡前放松一下哈 +4

    *Today I donated my watch, phone and $500 to a poor guy. You don't know the happiness I felt as I saw him put his knife back in his pocket.😬*

    2. *I miss times when I was working at the zoo. My boss fired me just because I left the lion's gate open. I mean who would steal a lion?🤭*

    3. *I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, "I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.“ Then I said, "turn left".🤨* *🙄

    4. Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get to the Pharmacy for their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?🤔* *🙄

    5.Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and yet get a diet coke?🤔* *🙄

    6.Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens on the counter tops?🤔* *🙄Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?🤔* *🙄

    7.Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin?🤔* *🙄

    8.Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?😵‍💫* 🙄

    9.Why is *'abbreviated'* such a long word?🧐 🙄

    10.Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do *'practice'?😇* *🙄

    11. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?*🤪 *🙄

    12.Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?*😔 🙄

    13.Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called the *rush hour?*😏 *🙄

    14.Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 🤔* 🙄

    15.You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? *Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??*😉 🙄

    16.Why don't sheep shrink when it rains, whereas Sweaters of Wool, do?🤪 🙄

    17. Why are they called apartments *when they are all stuck together?*😏 🙄

    18. If flying is so safe, *why do they call the airport the terminal?*😠 😜

    Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread this stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)... 😜 😋 *We all need to smile every once in a while.* 😜 *A Day Without Laughter* is a *DAY Wasted !*🤩

    • 😁 Why people park in the driveway, but drive in the parkway? +4
      • Why is it called a building when it is built? +2
    • 谢谢两位添砖加瓦。孩子小的时候带他们回国,在Maritime Museum,告诉他们那叫轮船。对中文一知半解的娃说,轮子在哪里哩?
      • 汽车的汽呢?😁
        • 😂
    • 😄thanks for sharing
    • 👍👍👍
    • Thanks for sharing!🙏😄
    • 今天看到一个关于 “屁股(ass)”——“暗杀(assissnate)”——“助手(assistant)”几个单词之间的关系的英语词汇笑话😃肉肉们临睡前乐一乐😅放松一下😂 +3

      欧洲人以前的厕所在城堡的最外侧为了卫生臭味小如厕都是ass冲外的样子😃然后杀手经常爬上污水道用长矛去行刺所以被称为assissnate😅贵族如厕结束了佣人去服务擦干屁股就有了assistant说法😂


      喜欢去欧洲旅游的肉肉们肯定能认出哪个是厕所

      :

      • 😄。 我顺便去查了一下这三个字母开头的词,联想不要太多哦,像asset, 😂😂 +1
        • 大概过去木有化肥吧所以有…😅😃也听过一个故事可以证明曾经有个九毛九的农民去镇子里赶集为不浪费一泡屎憋回家结果給杯具了😂
          • 是哦,肥水不流外人田,LOL
            • 😄😅😂这个可以有

              assissnate,有人说就是ass被in了xxxx
              • 好了好了,就此打住,不失风度🌹
    • 谢谢