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Daily pick--6 Steps to a Great Social Life

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛6 Steps to a Great Social Life
Brush up on social skills for fulfilling friendships.

By Carole-Anne Vatcher

With hectic days and busy schedules, time to socialize can seem like a luxury and end up at the bottom of our priority list. It’s easy for many adults to suffer from loneliness and isolation.
When we were younger, many of us spent a lot of time with friends: in school, on weekends, or, later, living together as roommates. But when we live on our own, or with our partner and/or children, it takes work to maintain friendships and, often, regular contact with pals becomes minimal. On top of this, many feel uncertain about how to make new friends as an adult.

The following steps will help you to reach out to others and improve your social skills:

1. Commit to working on your social life
In our modern world, having a social life involves some work. Look for opportunities to socialize. Go to an event that you might normally turn down or ignore, like a workshop, meeting, cocktail party or dinner. Take the risk and say "yes" instead of "no." Make yourself as comfortable as possible — bring a friend or co-worker with you.

2. Step outside your comfort zone
Once you’re in a social situation, take risks and reach out to someone. Walk over and introduce yourself. Ask the person how they know the host or found out about this event. Pay someone a compliment about her wardrobe. Take an interest in the other person. Ask open-ended questions, and a conversation will almost inevitably result. Ask yourself, What’s the worst thing that could happen? Perhaps a boring conversation could result, in which case you can end it and move on to someone else.

3. Join something
Most communities have a variety of classes, courses, sports teams or workshops to choose from. Find something that interests you, regardless of whether you make a new friend. If you live in an isolated area, consider expanding your virtual community — join a chat room or online support group, or find an e-mail friend.

4. Start something
Take the initiative: invite people over, host a potluck dinner or start a book club.

5. Deepen existing friendships
Consider whom you like and would enjoy having a more connected friendship with. Pick up the phone and call this person. Talk about something of importance to you. Or reach out emotionally — being there for someone else can create a powerful, soulful connection.

6. Prioritize your social life
Once you make a date for socializing, say "no" to other bookings or requests for that time. Summon some energy for your social life. Time with others takes energy but it also gives energy. Sometimes I can feel too tired to socialize with friends, but afterwards I come home energized and refreshed by the laughter, support and insights that I gain from these connections. Our social lives are important to our mental and physical health — make time and space for yours.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下茶话 / 社会 / Daily pick--6 Steps to a Great Social Life
    • Good, good。有两件事情我一直想做没做:一是站在街边竖起大拇指搭车,一是加入旁边的沙滩排球。两件事我都比较shy,都过了两个月了,还是没做成,还有10天了,不知道是否要去试试。担心打排球那些人拒绝,不带我玩:(
      • 第二件事情可以做, 第一件事情要做, 最好先练好武功的说.
        • 赫赫,岛上搭车的人不少,不过现在确实不安全了,这个勇气也许不要试也没啥损失
      • HH, 竖起大拇指搭车 i did it once and only once thus far; and it's about 10 years ago when i and my GF had a travel in Hai3Nan2 with back-packs.
        • got a ride? :-)
          • yup; but had butterflies in stomach when in the car, because
            the guy was driving so fast, well, maybe not very compared with how i've been driving now.
      • "两件事我都比较shy" - hmmm, not like the one (i thought) i knew
        • 怕拒绝啊,这不从noproblem的每日精选中学点东西啊:)
          • 饺子,俺8是针对你,如果误伤,俺这里道歉得罪了。
            8过另外几个,俺是故意的,和和,忍很久了。
            • 雨雨,我知道的。
              你说你没看那个贴子,我就知道我误会你了。我已经道歉了,这里再道一次,这次确实小心眼了。:)要是和你掰了,岂不是很遗憾?刚刚开始喜欢你的文字,以前总没有心境一个字一个字地读你的文章。
    • At least, Rolians already did something in item 3; we have chatted, fought, laughed, pay attended, whispered and admired each other.