本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛The dating woman's Bill of Rights
By MP Dunleavey
Dear MP,
I've just started dating again after a divorce. I'm in my mid-30s and I was married for 10 years, so all this single stuff is new. Frankly, I feel like everyone else knows the dating drill but me. What do I need to know?
Dear Reader,
Boy, do I remember that awful, am-I-doing-this-right? feeling from my early dating daze. I'd just gotten out of a relationship of almost seven years — and BOOM! — I was out on my own and living in a foreign country called Being Single. I didn't speak the language, I didn't know my way around, and who do you ask for dating directions? Not the gals on "Sex and the City," that's for sure.
What every single woman needs to remember is that even when you don't feel like you have the upper hand (in a dating or other single life situation), you do have certain basic rights. These have yet to be added as amendments to the Constitution, but that's OK. We're petitioning the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, the most important thing is to remember what they are, and that they're designed to protect you.
The Dating Woman's Bill of Rights
1. You have the right to say no
Just because some schmo at a bar or party asks you out, or your best friend's boss wants to set you up with her nephew, doesn't automatically mean you have to embrace the opportunity. Nor do you have to provide reasons for your refusal. A simple "No, but thanks for thinking of me" will suffice. Trust your gut.
2. You have the right to protect yourself
Never assume that the person you are dating has your best interests at heart (until they declare their serious and good intentions). Be especially suspicious of those who say one thing, only to shift into reverse later on. They will most likely run over your heart. Learn the essential art of saying, "I deserve better than this. Beat it, bub!"
3. You have the right to date casually
"Dating" may be a small word, but it carries a lot of baggage. That still doesn't mean it's a BIG deal. Repeat after me: Dating is just a means to get to know people. It's not a way to fall in love. Dating promises romance, but rarely delivers. When you go out on dates, try to separate your heart's desire from the guy sitting across from you who is slurping his soup. The twain may never meet. And that's OK, because there are always more dates.
4. You have the right to be skeptical
An awful lot of relationships become exclusive because one or both parties think they're in love. When a man uses the word "love" it doesn't mean you have to immediately become gung-ho and abandon all your doubts or what-ifs or curiosity about what else is out there. Before using that four-letter word with someone you've been dating, take the time to make sure it's what you feel and what you mean. Experiment by using other strong words —passion, excitement, crush — to describe how you feel. For some reason we tend to hear the word "love" as "commitment," and you are under no obligation to make a commitment until the time is right for you. Just because someone uses the L-word with you, don't feel compelled to say it back, or pretend that you feel something you don't. Just smile.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
By MP Dunleavey
Dear MP,
I've just started dating again after a divorce. I'm in my mid-30s and I was married for 10 years, so all this single stuff is new. Frankly, I feel like everyone else knows the dating drill but me. What do I need to know?
Dear Reader,
Boy, do I remember that awful, am-I-doing-this-right? feeling from my early dating daze. I'd just gotten out of a relationship of almost seven years — and BOOM! — I was out on my own and living in a foreign country called Being Single. I didn't speak the language, I didn't know my way around, and who do you ask for dating directions? Not the gals on "Sex and the City," that's for sure.
What every single woman needs to remember is that even when you don't feel like you have the upper hand (in a dating or other single life situation), you do have certain basic rights. These have yet to be added as amendments to the Constitution, but that's OK. We're petitioning the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, the most important thing is to remember what they are, and that they're designed to protect you.
The Dating Woman's Bill of Rights
1. You have the right to say no
Just because some schmo at a bar or party asks you out, or your best friend's boss wants to set you up with her nephew, doesn't automatically mean you have to embrace the opportunity. Nor do you have to provide reasons for your refusal. A simple "No, but thanks for thinking of me" will suffice. Trust your gut.
2. You have the right to protect yourself
Never assume that the person you are dating has your best interests at heart (until they declare their serious and good intentions). Be especially suspicious of those who say one thing, only to shift into reverse later on. They will most likely run over your heart. Learn the essential art of saying, "I deserve better than this. Beat it, bub!"
3. You have the right to date casually
"Dating" may be a small word, but it carries a lot of baggage. That still doesn't mean it's a BIG deal. Repeat after me: Dating is just a means to get to know people. It's not a way to fall in love. Dating promises romance, but rarely delivers. When you go out on dates, try to separate your heart's desire from the guy sitting across from you who is slurping his soup. The twain may never meet. And that's OK, because there are always more dates.
4. You have the right to be skeptical
An awful lot of relationships become exclusive because one or both parties think they're in love. When a man uses the word "love" it doesn't mean you have to immediately become gung-ho and abandon all your doubts or what-ifs or curiosity about what else is out there. Before using that four-letter word with someone you've been dating, take the time to make sure it's what you feel and what you mean. Experiment by using other strong words —passion, excitement, crush — to describe how you feel. For some reason we tend to hear the word "love" as "commitment," and you are under no obligation to make a commitment until the time is right for you. Just because someone uses the L-word with you, don't feel compelled to say it back, or pretend that you feel something you don't. Just smile.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net